Bleed Away The Pain
by helpmydeath
Summary: Outtake: If I took this blade against my skin, would I feel better? The story of Hermione's downward spile with selfinjury. RonHermione...
1. What If I?

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 1: What if I…

A/N: this story is done during fifth year but Ron dated Lavender last year and it went down the same way- so Dumbledore's still alive. I'm gonna add lyrics to the beginning of each chapter that I think works with the chap. I'd appreciate it if you guys would review, it'd mean the world to me, really! And I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all those people who are struggling with any kind of self-destruction, be it eating disorders, self-injury, anything. I hope you all can be happy again. And trust me: I know what it's like to be a self-injurer, and I want to say that if any self-injurer is reading this and then reviews me telling me that I have no idea how people really feel when they cut, well: I do. I wrote down how I feel when I cut, some of the things that happen, all that. It may be different for some, but if you don't like it then don't read it! 'K? 'K. Oh- and I'd like to add that I'm not trying to glamorize self-destruction. It's not cool! Trust me, it makes you even worse than when you started!

Also, I'd like to thank my wonderful beta, Anya, you rock!

Disclaimer: let's see. I have two ears, one nose, two hands, ten fingers, ten toes, a tongue and two eyebrows. Yep! Sounds like JKR to me. _not!_ Guys, I am not disguised as JKR and I'm not gonna pretend to be! And I also don't own All That I'm Living for (posted below) that is by Evanescence, written by the fabulous Amy Lee, I take NO credit!

_I can feel the night beginning.  
Separate me from the living.  
Understanding me,  
After all I've seen.  
Piecing every thought together,  
Find the words to make me better.  
If I only knew how to pull myself apart._

All that I'm living for,  
All that I'm dying for,  
All that I can't ignore alone at night.  
All that I'm wanted for,  
Although I wanted more.  
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

I believe that dreams are sacred.  
Take my darkest fears and play them  
Like a lullaby,  
Like a reason why,  
Like a play of my obsessions,  
Make me understand th_e lesson,  
So I'll find myself,_

_So I won't be lost again.  
__  
Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me,  
To be the one.  
I could have run forever,  
But how far would I have come  
Without mourning your love?  
_All That I'm Living For--- Evanescence

Perfect.

I'm beginning to hate that word! I'm _not_ perfect. If I was perfect, I wouldn't be here now, in the abandoned toilet on the 4th floor boys' bathroom. No one will come in here. They saw Myrtle and the Friar 'getting it on' one time and no one will come in now. So here I am now, alone with my muggle razor. If I make another cut against my knee, do you think I'd feel better?

I do.

Let's see. I press the sharp edge against my scarred skin and the wonderful sensation fills me. It's like a paper cut, only better. I see the blood, and numbness fills me. The pain is still there, in the back of my mind. Comforting me.

I love it.

So this is why I live. Well, I have no other reason to live. I pull the razor against my skin again. Why isn't there blood? There should be blood! It's just one of those scratches now. Like a dog will do if it's trying to get your attention. Why won't it bleed? I try a few more times. Still no blood. Fine. I _need_ blood right now, and I am going to get blood. I rip the razor across my skin. Ah. Soft, soothing red. Coming to wash away these nightmares. As I heard a someone say one time: 'I welcome this sleeping nightmare. It's so much better than reality.'

Maybe they were right. A nightmare would be better than this reality. I make another slash and blood comes to the surface, barely spilling over. I slowly go out to the sink and clean up the blood. Then I slip the razor in a ripped seam in my bag where I know no one will find it. Time for dinner. I pull my over-the-knee socks a little higher to make sure they're not going to slip down, like they did in the middle of potions, when Pansy almost saw my scars.

Note to self: start wearing normal clothes, like every other 5th year does.

I walk out of the bathroom and see Ginny Weasley, one of my very best friends, at the end of the corridor. I run to catch up, my bag and its heavy weight bouncing against my back.

"Hey, Gin."

"Hey, Hermione!" She says cheerfully. "What're you doing coming out of that bathroom? Not brewing another 'naughty' potion, now are we?" She's joking of course, but I still clam up.

"W-what? No! No of course not, I was just . . . l-looking for Myrtle. I… uh… promised I'd come see her. She was in there. With the Friar. Ick!" I say, managing a convincing end, thank goodness.

"Mmkay," Ginny responds absent-mindedly.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Oh, nothing. Harry and I have been getting along really well lately. You were right, we should just be friends. Forget that silly crush! I have more important things right now than some silly crush!" She sticks her nose in the air and quickens her pace.

"Whoa! Hey, did I make you mad or something? 'Cause I didn't mean to if I did," I add hurriedly.

"No, no! Of course not. Dean and I just got into another fight. Dunno why I even stay with him," she says.

I laugh. What a fake sound, my laugh is. Everyone always told me I have a nice laugh- soft, tinkling . . . perfect. But I hate it. It sounds so horribly fake. Like it's not even _real_, which, in all honesty, it usually isn't. I act normal; always happy, smiling, and reprimanding people who don't do their homework and stuff like that, but in my head . . . I just really couldn't care less about school. My grades are slowly beginning to slip, but I make sure to pull them up every time I get a bad grade so no one will notice. They can't notice. They just _can't. _I can't let them know that something's wrong.

Harry, of course, would feel guilty. He would be so angry at himself because he would think that if he had done something else, I wouldn't have started this. But it's not true. He didn't do anything to make me like this; it's _my _fault and mine _alone_.

Ginny would feel sorry for me, and maybe disgusted She would make me stop and tell me I'm beautiful and that I'm better than this. She would take away my instruments and follow me around all the time to make sure I didn't do it again. Or she might start to hate me because she finally realized that she's too good to be my friend. She's too perfect to know me.

And then Ron . . . his reaction would be the worst. He would want to talk to me about it, ask me why I did it, was it him, when did I start, and why, _why _didn't I let someone help me? He would start to check my arms and legs everyday to make sure that I hadn't done it again and I'd have to stop because I wouldn't be able to stand that guilty, sad expression that he would, no doubt, have on his face. Or he'd be mad that I thought I had it bad, when there are people out there with much bigger problems than some silly school girl. Then I'd have no friends left, because if Ron left, Harry would leave and so would Ginny.

So no one can know. No one.

Ginny's talking about Dean again. "I mean - he acts like I _need _him and that all girls need some guy to look after them, and I said 'So what are you saying? That I'm totally dependant on you?' and then he says 'Well, yeah you are, but I kinda like a girl that needs me.' So then . . . _then _I slap him. Right across the face! And then I say, 'Well I'll show you that I don't need you, or any other guy!' And then I just march right off down the corridor! So, what I was thinking about doing was -"

"Wait, wait, Gin, you lost me. So, Dean thinks every girl needs a guy?" She nods "- and that you are totally dependant on him -" she nods again "- and you're going to do something to get revenge?" I ask.

"Yes! Now, see what I was thinking was I could just totally ignore him and all other guys, and start getting really good grades - because I know I can get them if I want to - and I'll start doing great at Quidditch and totally blow him away! What do you think?" She asked, breathlessly.

"Oh . . . well . . . I think that would work splendidly," I say. But in truth, I think it's gonna blow up in herface and Dean will probably start going out with someone else. Oh well, I never liked Dean much anyway, and I think Ginny only ever went out with him to prove herself to Ron.

After Ginny left to go meet some friends for dinner, I head up to the Common Room to wait for Harry and Ron to come down so we can all head to the Great Hall for some food.

Ron is the first to come down and when he sees me, he smiles. I try and smile back but fail dismally, because I just can't seem to be able to act happy right now. Luckily, Ron doesn't notice and comes over to me and says, "Harry's asleep right now. He was having some nightmares again last night about Cedric and didn't get any sleep, so I figured we could just eat by ourselves."

"Okay, that's fine," I say, and we both head down.

Ron was abnormally silent tonight. I asked him if anything was wrong and he told me no, he was just thinking about his DADA homework. It was obvious he was lying. I didn't say anything more until we got down to the Hall, where we took a seat next to Seamus and his girlfriend, Daphne. We all exchange our greetings and Daphne starts to ask me about how hard OWLs are, because she's only a 4th year, so she doesn't know yet. I sorta lie and say it's not so bad. The truth is, it's horrible. So much studying! Even _I_ can't handle it!

After Ron and I finish our food and begin to climb the marble staircase, Malfoy and his gang – now consisting of Pansy, Millicent, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabbini and some girl named Holly - walk up.

Ron doesn't notice, but when I stop walking, he turns around to see what caused me to come to such a sudden halt.

Of course, Malfoy has to get that smug look on his face when he sees us looking at him.

"Ah, well, where's the Scarhead, Weasel?"

I step in front of Ron. "Still using 'Scarhead' and 'Weasel' are you? Wow, you're so original," I say in mock admiration, and then pull Ron the rest of the way up the stairs. He's still not talking, but I don't know why.

"Ron, are you mad at me?" I ask, quietly.

"Wha - no. No, why would I be mad at you?" He replies.

"Well I dunno, but you seemed to be ignoring me so I thought maybe…" we both fade into silence.

_Wait,_ I think, _did he find out? About my self-destruction? How did he find out? Did he tell Harry? Is that why Harry didn't come down?_

_Now wait just a second, Hermione, _the sensible part of my brain says. _You have no proof he knows. Now just stop being paranoid and ask him what's wrong! _"What's up, Ron? I know something's wrong," I say, soft, but insistent.

"It- it's nothing. Just . . . never mind."

"No! I want to know!" I keep pestering him.

_Come on, Ron! You know you want to tell me!_

"Okay, well, the thing is -" He began, but before he could continue Harry came down the stairs, looking rather bleary-eyed.

"Hey, did you guys already go down to dinner?" he questioned.

"Yeah, we did. Why?" I answered, casually, like he didn't just burst in at such a bad time.

"Oh, just wondering. Say, Hermione, do you think you could help me with my Potions essay? It's due tomorrow and I can't seem to remember much on the subject we were discussing." He looked hopefully at me and I didn't have the heart to say no.

"Oh . . . of course, Harry. Just go get your potions book and essay and meet me by the fire, alright?" I replied, tiredly.

The next morning, both Harry and I were exhausted. We had stayed up till three AM working on his essay. Ron and I hadn't had a chance alone to continue talking about what we had been discussing yesterday, but he seemed better today. _Maybe it was just a bad day, _I thought as I looked at him laughing at something Seamus had said. _Yeah, that has to be it_. I was probably just being paranoid and he was just worried about Harry; we all are. But it just gets so annoying sometimes! I mean, it's all Harry, Harry, Harry. Poor Harry. Poor, poor, unfortunate, picked on, sensitive Harry. I love Harry with all my heart, I do, but it gets annoying, having to live in his shadow all of the time. But it's not nearly as bad for me as it is for Ronald. I mean, I'm dealing with some pretty heavy shit myself, but I can handle it. I have one thing that always makes things go away and make me stress-free. At least for a few minutes. That one thing is my razor. It always helps.

But after I think about it, it doesn't _really _help. It covers up what I'm feeling, sure. But it doesn't make it go away. But it helps me _right now,_ and that's what matters.

It's like your emotions are at the bottom of a pit and you get so tired of trying to dig them out of the pit, that you just bury them with more dirt, but in the end, you're going to need to go back in and dig them up, and it's going to be harder than ever. But here and now, I'm okay. I'll be fine. I know I will. But I can't help but think, _Am I sure I'm okay? Am I lying to myself? Do I want to know the truth?_

No. I don't want to know the truth. If the truth is that I'm sick in the mind, I need therapy, and I'm being selfish, than I don't want to face that. Then I'm happy with the lie that I tell myself: I'm fine, it's just a phase, you can pull through, I'm not even addicted to it, I could stop any time.

Sometimes a lie is better than the truth.


	2. I Don't Need Help To Fall

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 2: I Don't Need Help To Fall

This story contains self-injury, so if that offends or freaks you out, don't read it.

Replies to reviews:

**LoveIsABattle**: You were my first reviewer so thank you, I am definitely going to finish this story. Thanks for reviewing SO much!

**Deadghost**: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad your friend seems better now; I know from experience how hard self-harm can be.

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And thanks to **D.A. Gray, LoveIsABattle, RH4L, Sculder the Goblin Queen, **and** love-princess 1** for favoriting/alerting my story, and to anyone else who read my story; it means so much to me!

Thanks for reading so far, and for reviewing for those who did! I seriously did not expect so manyhits! Thank you so incredibly much, even if you didn't review; just seeing how many people read it inspired me to write! I'm hoping to have the next chap out in maybe a week or two because I've already got the whole story planned out. Thanks again for reading! I am so _damn _sorry I didn't update for so incredibly long! I was on vacation and I had it all written, but I didn't have access to the internet, then when I got home, I sent it off to my beta, but either she's really busy or her computer crashed and I haven't gotten a response back yet, so this one is un-beta-ed but I'm posting it anyway 'cause I'm sure y'all are tired of waiting. I am sooo sorry, I've already got the third, fourth and a lot of the fifth written, so prepare for those to be up faster.

I'd like to thank my fabulous beta, Anya for helping me out, because I was totally off on my first chap, and she helped me out a lot, so thanks Anya!

Disclaimer: No I don't own Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore or even Trevor, the toad. I'm just a bored teen who is too obsessed with Harry Potter (if you can be too obsessed.) And I also don't own Papercut, that's by Linkin Park and I give them full credit (I suggest you listen to the song on YouTube while you read this.)

Enjoy!

_Why does it feel like night today?  
Something in here's not right today  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left  
I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed  
But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head  
Like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face that I watch every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
(And watches everything)_

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
You've got a face on the inside too  
Your paranoia's probably worse  
I don't know what set me off first  
But I know what I can't stand  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
I can't add up to what you can  
Papercut_- _Linkin Park 

I'm not quite sure how I got here, what time it is, where I was before, how this happened, why I'm here. All I do know is that I'm scared. So scared. I don't know _why _I'm scared, where I was, how I got here, anything. All I know is that I'm sitting in some bathroom below one of the sinks, with my knees drawn into my chest and my arms clasped around them, shaking like hell. I also know that my arms are both bleeding badly, but I don't know why. They don't hurt at all. In fact, my entire body is numb.

I can hear my teeth chattering loudly, but that's all the sound my ears pick up. Everything else is deadly silent.

Then I notice something else: I'm not alone.

I'm not sure who it is, if they're a girl or a boy, if they're even alive. I can only see their shoes, below one of the stall doors. Then I see them move. They're about to come out.

I'm not sure if I'm in a girl's or boy's bathroom, so I don't know who I should expect to come out. I know that I should move out from under the sink, but I just _can't. _I literally cannot force my legs to move.

Now I'm really scared. Not only could some random person come out and see my arms bleeding, but they would see _me. _The real me. Not the fake me that I put on display all the time.

They'd see me sitting here: defenseless, scared, bloody, and fragile. That's something I can't let anyone see me.

I'm perfect. Perfect Hermione Granger, that's me. I cannot let someone see me helpless. I just can't.

As I remember my fake identity, memories start to come flooding back. I remember going to Ancient Runes first, then to Potions with Harry and Ron then History Of Magic and then I remember why I'm here. After History Of Magic Ron and Harry had hurried ahead so they could head to lunch while I was going to go to the library. But as I was on my way to the library, I saw Malfoy. Only Malfoy, none of his friends. He had that look about him that said he was up to no good. So I silently followed him, and was surprised to find that he was heading to the library. I followed him as he walked steadily through the Dark Arts and Charms sections and into the Restricted Section. I was only slightly surprised to see he was going in there, I mean he is Malfoy after all. He still hadn't noticed me following him.

Next thing I knew, he was drawing his wand on me. I didn't know he had seen me, but he had obviously known I was following him and had quickly schemed me following him into the only place Madam Pince, the librarian, didn't come on a regular basis: the Restricted Section.

"And just _what _is a mudblood like yourself doing following _me_?" He asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Nothing." I spat, but both of us knew I was terrified.

"Well then, I will just ask you to leave." He said smoothly.

I was too scared to do anything else except turn and walk out. But on my way down the aisle, I felt something hot and stinging hit my back and run up my spine, but before I knew it, the feeling was gone, almost as if it hadn't happened at all.

I stopped briefly and looked back, where Malfoy was skimming the books, looking for something. I turned back around and walked right out of the library, heading to the bathroom, because I suddenly felt the need for the feeling of my razor against my skin.

All of the sudden I felt the jolt in my spine again, burning like fire throughout my backbone and ribcage but I ignored it, because it only lasted a few seconds. As I walked into the bathroom, I suddenly couldn't remember where I had put her razor, or why I had gone to the library in the first place. I ignored the forgetfulness as just a temporary problem and that I would remember in just a little time.

As I fumbled around with my bag, attempting to find my razor, I felt the lump in the ripped seem, where I had put the razor, and pulled it out. I took the razor and ripped it 3 times against each arm, where it promptly began bleeding.

All of a sudden, pain began coursing through my spine and ribs, making me feel as if my lungs had caught on fire. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. As I swayed from side to side, I suddenly felt very faint. I knew I wouldn't have time to get to Madam Pomfrey before I blacked out, so I just let the pain take hold of me, as I scooted up under a sink, hoping if anyone came in, they wouldn't notice me.

And the next thing I remembered was waking up with my arms still bleeding, but with the burning pain in my spine gone. I was grateful for that at least. Then I remembered the person in the stall, on their way out and they would undoubtedly see me.

I attempted to move, but my legs where too weak, so I just sat there, awaiting whoever it was about to come out of the stall.

As the door to the stall opened, I could see the boy's uniform, so I knew it wasn't a girl.

_Please, _I thought, _don't let it be Harry or Ron! Anybody but them! Please, Please, Ple-_

But my thoughts were cut short as the boy walked out to wash his hands. I recognized him as being in my year, a Ravenclaw, went by the name of Terry Boot, I believe.

Then he saw me. I tried my hardest not to look at him, but I couldn't help myself, and glanced up to see what his reaction would be. He was frozen on the spot, staring at me.

_Oh dear, _I thought. _Please don't scream. _

But he didn't scream, he just walked over and knelt down beside me.

"Did you do this to yourself?" He asked, quietly.

"…Maybe." I said slowly and reluctantly.

He just sat there for a second before I started talking.

"Please don't tell anyone! I swear, it's not as bad as it looks!" I say, hurriedly.

"Don't worry. I won't tell. But you have to stop this. It's not healthy, and I'll spend a lot of time with you, so we can become closer and you won't feel nervous about talking to me about this, okay?" I nod. "Now let's get you cleaned up and we can go to lunch. I'll sit at your table most of the time, okay? And save a seat for me in Ancient Runes." He said as he pulled me to my feet, and went to grab some toilet paper to clean my arms with.

I still don't know how he knew who I was, or that we have Ancient Runes together. He probably knew about me because of me being friends with Harry and all.

After magically bandaging my arms, we walked out of the bathroom together. Luckily, there was no one in the corridor to wonder why I was coming out of a boy's bathroom with Terry. As we headed down to have dinner, I was beginning to wonder what Harry and Ron would say about Terry sitting with us all the time._ I'll just tell them he's my study partner, that'll solve the problem,_ I thought.

As we walked into the Hall, I noticed Harry and Ron were already there, waiting for me and talking about Quidditch. When I walked up, they stopped talking and stared at Terry.

"Hi guys," I said in my normal, cheery voice. "This is Terry, my study partner. He's going to sit with us, okay?" And before they could answer, I pulled Terry into the seat next to me.

"Hi, Terry." Said Harry, then turned back to his steak and kidney pie.

Ron just nodded his head, rather rudely, at Terry, before turning to me and asking, "So, where were you? We went to the library to get you for dinner and you weren't there."

"Oh, I… I was studying. With Terry. In the Ravenclaw Common Room. Isn't that right, Terry?" I said, looking at Terry, who said, "Yeah, that's where we were." And then turned to look at Harry.

"So, Harry, how's Quidditch going? I'm not much of a player myself, but I always enjoy watching it." He said, enthusiastically.

"Oh, it's going great! I think we have a really good shot at getting the Cup this year!" Harry said, just as excitedly.

Terry and Harry continued talking about Quidditch all through dinner, as Ron and I stayed silent.

After dinner, we all began walking up to the Gryffindor Common Room. When we came to the Fat Lady, we all turned and looked at Terry.

"Oh, right. I'll just go." He said, then hugged me, and whispered so only I could hear, "you be careful, okay?" Then pulled back, looked at me one last time, and turned and walked down the corridor, all of us watching him go.

-------------------------------------

After we got into the Common Room, Harry declared he was going to go do the homework for Charms class that was due tomorrow. As soon as Harry was out of the room, Ron rounded on me.

"And just _what _was that about?" He demanded, glaring at me.

"What was _what _about?" I said, glaring back.

"That little exchange between you and Terry just now! He was all over you!"

"No he wasn't! And I don't see why it would matter if he was 'all over me'. Maybe he was just hugging his _friend _goodnight!" I said, angrily.

"Yeah, _that's _it." He said, sarcastically.

"Well maybe it's possible for someone other than you, Ginny and Harry to be my friends! And just _maybe _he thinks I'm likable!" I said, before turning my back on him to begin up the staircase to the girl's dormitories. I could hear him breathing heavily behind me as I began up the girl's stairs.

As soon as I got to my bed, I closed the curtains around me, and pulled out my razor. I ripped it across my arm, but then, remembering what had happened to me just an hour ago, I slowed down a bit and didn't press so hard because I didn't want anyone else to find me, passed out and bleeding.

Why does Ron always bring out the worst in me? It's like he has some sort of power to make me totally lose it. And why was he acting so… _jealous_? He has no reason to be jealous unless… he liked me.

_No, _I tell myself, _it's not possible. He couldn't like me. He couldn't ever like someone so messed up and bossy as me. Uh-uh. Not a chance. Don't go getting a big head now. _

I press down a little on my flesh, as if to emphasize my point. To show myself that I'm not perfect, nor should I begin to even think that.

I yank down my sleeves and head to the bathroom to clean up. When I get in a stall, I pull my sleeves up again and wipe the blood off with some toilet paper.

After the blood stops and I clean the bit that splattered on the floor off, I walk out to my bed again and change into my night gown. I lay down and I begin to fall asleep, listening to the other girls' deep breaths.

-------------------------------------

The next day, Harry is the first one to come down from the Boys' Dormitories and he heads straight towards me, determinately.

"I need your advice." He says, quickly, once he reaches me.

"Okay. What can I do to help?" I ask, curiously. It's been a while since Harry asked for help. Maybe he wants to talk to me about Cedric, that'd be good! He needs to let his emotions out and let go of what happened and realize is wasn't his fa-

"I want to know how to ask Cho out." He interrupted my thoughts.

"Wha- oh yeah, okay." I said, slightly shocked. "Um… what do you want to know?" I asked.

"How do I do it? And what if she says no? And _how _do I get rid of that pack that follows her around everywhere?" He asked, sounding desperate.

"Okay, firstly, don't let her see how nervous you are and she won't say no, I've seen her give you those looks, but before I get into any more detail, let's go down to breakfast; I'm starving."

"What about Ron?"

"What about him? I'm sure he's capable of walking down to the Hall by himself." I snapped.

"Er… okay then." And we began to head out of the Common Room.

After we got down to breakfast, I started up again with advice on how to ask Cho out.

"The most important rule is that you act confidant. If you're confidant, or if you fake confidence, nothing else will matter."

"No. The most important thing is that she says yes." Said Harry, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yes, but one fool-proof way to get her to say yes is to be confidant." He makes a confused face, "here, I'll give you an example. Pretend we're just having breakfast together; just friends. Like we actually are. Now, I'm going to do an imitation of a shy person asking you out, and one of a confidant person doing the same, and you tell me which was more appealing, okay?" I explained.

"Er… sure." He said, uncertainly.

"Here goes nothing." I began, before looking down at my plate of eggs, pretending to be blushing. "Erm… Harry? I was just, um… wondering if… you know, you weren't doing anything later, then maybe we could, you know, have lunch, like a picnic outside… or whatever, because I'm not doing anything- oh well, that's obvious that I'm not doing anything, because that would be setting you up and I just… you know I couldn't do that." I gave a fake laugh, "but I mean, if you don't want to, I'll... totally understand, I was just wondering…." I look up at him, to see him suppressing a laugh. "Not very good, was it?" I ask him, smiling. He nods. "Now, for the impression of someone confidant." I say, looking at him. He's watching someone walk in and I assume it's Cho, so I ignore him and begin my imitation. "So Harry," I begin, and I can see by following his eyes that the person he's watching is coming closer. "You know there's a Hogsmead trip this Saturday; I thought it'd be fun if we went together. What do you think?" I finish, but Harry's staring at a spot right about my head, so I turn around to see a very angry-looking Ron.

_Oh dear, _I think, _this can't be good. _

"…So Harry. Are you going to answer her?" He asks, coldly.

"Wha- No! She wasn't actually asking me out! I-I swear it! She was just showing me something. You know like- how I should and shouldn't ask out… someone." Harry said, making sure not to specify who he was asking out.

"Oh. Okay, yeah. You know, just wondering." Said Ron, awkwardly.

"Well go ahead and sit down, why don't you?" I said, slightly colder than normal, due to last night's fight. And if the morning hadn't gotten off to a bad start, I can see Terry making his way over to me now.

"Hey, guys." He says, and plops down in the seat to my right, just like we'd been best friends forever. I can see Ron giving him the evil eye from where he is on my left.

_Oh dear, _I think, trying not to look too uncomfortable, _don't let Terry be this annoying all the time! _

"I need to go to the bathroom, then I'm just going to head on down to Potions and I'll see you two there, okay?" I say, and begin to pick up my bag.

"I'll come!" Pipes up Terry, excitedly. "I need to start heading to Charms soon anyway." He pulls his bag onto his shoulder and uses his hand to grab my arm to direct me out.

_As if I can't even walk on my own, _I scoff to myself. _What a prat!_

As we attempt to work our way around a bunch of gossiping Slytherin girls coming in late, I can hear Ron saying to Harry, "What is _with _her lately? Always running off to the bathroom. I swear she's seeing someone behind our backs! I bet it's that Terry!" I can just hear the jealousy in his voice, and I can almost see Harry rolling his eyes at his friend's over-protectiveness, but I don't turn around.

_He deserves this __for being a jerk to me last night, _I think, decidedly, as I yank my arm away from Terry and speed up my pace to get through the Slytherins before he does, and then run out into the hall and into the nearest girl's bathroom I can find, where I proceed to take out my razor again and press it into the flesh of my arm. The blood that oozes to the surface was enough to calm me down.

As I glance down at my wrist watch, I notice that it was 5 minutes 'till I need to be in Snapes' dungeons. I grab some toilet paper, rap it around my arm, glue it on with a charm, then pull my sleeve down over the paper, which leaves a slight lump, but it'll have to do.

I run out the room and down into the dungeons, just as Snape is taking attendance.

"Ah, Miss Granger. You appear to be late. Detention, my office, 7 o'clock sharp." He says, smoothly, as I make my way over to sit next to Harry.

This was going to be a long day.


	3. The Way This Hurts

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 3: The Way This Hurts

This story contains self-injury, so if that offends or freaks you out, don't read it.

A/N: Hey everyone. Thanks so far to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, or alerted my story, it means so much to me! I am actually on vacation right now (or on my way to vacation. I'm in the car, with my laptop) which means one of two things: I will either get a lot of work done on this story, or little to nothing. It depends on what sort of stuff I have to do while away. Anyways, happy holidays everyone!

Replies to reviews:

**akaccino: **Haha! I agree, Jealous!Ron is pretty damn hot! I always love it when he's jealous! I'm not gonna give anything away, but I'll just say that you'll be satisfied in later chapters with the Terry/Hermione/Ron situation. At least, I hope you will be! Thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: not that anyone usually reads these, but no I don't own Harry Potter, JKR did everything with the help of Warner Brothers and such companies, and if you don't understand that yet, go to therapy for memory loss (no offense if you actually have memory loss….) I also don't own Sleep, that's by My Chemical Romance, and I take no claim to it.

_Some say _

_Now suffer all the children_

_And walk away a savior_

_Or a madman and polluted_

_From gutter institutions_

_Don't you breathe for me_

_Undeserving of your sympathy_

'_Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did_

_And through it all _

_How could you cry for me?_

'_Cause I don't feel bad about it_

_So shut your eyes_

_Kiss my goodbye_

_And sleep_

_Just sleep_

_The hardest part is letting go of_

_Your dreams_

_A drink _

_For the horror that I'm in_

_For the good guys and the bad guys _

_For the monsters that I've been _

_Three cheers for tyranny _

_Unapologetic apathy_

'_Cause there is no way I'm coming back again_

_And through it all how could you cry for me?_

'_Cause I don't feel bad about it_

_So shut your eyes_

_Kiss my goodbye_

_And sleep _

_Just sleep _

_The hardest parts _

_The awful things that _

_I've seen_

_Just sleep. _

Sleep--- My Chemical Romance

I've never seen someone so desperate in my life. He hasn't stopped nagging and pestering me since I told him I'd help him ask Cho out. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but Harry is so _needy. _I mean- he's so sad about Cedric, and confused about Cho, and now the fact that You-Know-Who is back, just adds to the pressure that Harry has to bear and I know my needs are always going to be second to his, and that's okay with me, but I don't exactly have it easy, now do I? I mean, I have to help Ginny and Harry with relationship stuff; I am now tutoring Neville in Potions, Transfiguration, and Charms; Terry insists we have "heart to hearts"- as he calls them- every other day to make sure I can "handle myself"; Ron seems to be feeling neglected, so I have to make sure I'm not ignoring him; my studies are becoming rapidly harder, and though I try my hardest, I just can't keep my grades up.

"Okay, so, confidence? I think I got that. What else?" Asks Harry, after I made him attempt to ask me out with confidence a few times. He finally got it on his 7th try.

"What else? For a girl like Cho, you need class, but also need to be original. Look good, but not like you're trying too hard, _but_ not that careless look either because then she'll think you don't care what she thinks of you. That brings me to another point: make sure she knows you value her opinion, but that you have your own ideas and identity and aren't going to change that for her. You got that?" I ask, confronting my notebook where I had written out the tips I would be giving Harry for asking Cho out.

"Y-yeah. I think I got it." He said, nervously. "Anything else?"

"Yes. There's a lot more to cover, but I have to get to Ancient Runes and you need to go finish your Charms essay, so we'll have to go over it later," I said, as I shoved my books in my bag. "Oh- and try to think of the kind of look you want for when you ask her out, so I can have an idea when I come back and get started planning and helping you out, okay?" I said, just as I reached the door to the abandoned classroom we were in.

"Yep. I'll see what I can do." He said, gathering up his things as well. "See you later, Hermione. Thanks again for all the help."

"Yeah, no problem. But I really have got to go to class now. Bye!" I said, as I rushed out the door. The truth is, Ancient Runes doesn't start for another 15 minutes, but I wanted a chance to run down to the Great Hall to see Terry to assure him that I'm fine, because he seems to be more clingy than ever lately. After that, I thought I'd head to the bathroom, and if I had enough time, de-stress a little with my razor.

"Hey, Hermione." Terry says, as I plop down onto the seat next to him. He is really a sweet person, I can tell, but I just really cannot stand him in the least. The more and more I'm around him, the nosier and pushier he seems to become. Not to mention, he follows me around everywhere and I've heard Ron telling Harry he's sure we're in some kind of romantic relationship, which is a load of bullocks if you ask me.

"Hey, Terry. I just thought I'd drop by before I head to Ancient Runes. Right. So… see you later then?" I ask, before attempting to stand up, before Terry pulls me back down.

"We don't have Ancient Runes for another 12 minutes. Stay here and talk." He says. We have Ancient Runes together, but apart from that, he has a copy of my schedule and has memorized it!

"Yeah, yeah I know. It's just that I want to get there early to talk to the professor, because I think I screwed up the conclusion of my last essay. Bye." I said, and stood up, this time, successfully.

"Alright… bye." Terry says, reluctant to let me leave without him trailing behind me.

-------------------------------------

I walk into the 3rd floor girls bathroom, where a 6th year Ravenclaw is applying makeup. She smirks at me when she sees my plain ensemble consisting of a loose, long sleeved, gray shirt and jeans with sneakers. She, on the other hand, is wearing a pink tank top with the shortest skirt I have ever seen, and flip flops, even though it's getting pretty cold here.

_Slut, _I think, as she flounces out of the room. _Can't even stand to be in the same room as me. _

I glance around the room, and, realizing it's deserted, pull out my wand and charm the door to lock and not open to Alohamora. I pull out my razor, and let myself slide down the walls so I'm sitting directly opposite of the sinks, where I can slightly see myself in the mirror. I'm a mess. My hair, which has become limp and less bushy since I can barely eat anymore, since I'm always busy; my clothes hanging off of my body like they're 3 sizes too big. I have dark circles under my eyes from staying up late at night, finishing homework or helping Harry or Ron with something, or tutoring Neville into the early hours of the morning.

As I look at myself, my hand, clenched around the razor, is sub-consciously moving towards the exposed skin on my knuckles. I don't realize what I am doing until I feel the blood beginning to trickle in between my fingers. I look down and see a bloody scrape from the razor on my knuckles.

_This isn't good, _I tell myself, _how could I do it in plain sight? Everyone is going to see! Maybe a Glamorizing charm would work, _I think, franticly. _Wait! What was the incantation for the cover-up charm? I can't remember! _

As I'm desperately trying to remember the charm, I glance at the clock, and notice that Ancient Runes is going to start in 3 minutes, and I still have to go up 3 flights of stairs! _Well, _I thought, resignedly, _I'm going to be late. I might as well admit it to myself. I can just say that I slipped and fell down the 5__th__ floor staircase. That might also explain the fresh gash on my knuckles. Yes, that'll have to do. _

I quickly grab my belongings again, and sling my bag across my shoulder. I sprint down the hallway and fling aside a tapestry, revealing a secret passage that will automatically take me to the 5th floor. Once I get to the 5th floor, I dash up the last flight of stairs, taking care to make sure that no one was around to notice my bleeding hand, which I quickly cleaned and bandaged with magic, before darting into the Ancient Runes classroom and sitting quickly in my seat.

"Miss Granger? You are late." States the professor, without looking up from what he was doing.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry!" I said, breathlessly. "I slipped and fell on the staircase and had to go to the Hospital Wing to get my hand bandaged up." I finished, showing him my hand, freshly bandaged.

"Ah, well in that case, I think we can let it slide, just this once." He said, giving me a stern look, but I could see the sympathy he felt for me behind the steady gaze.

-------------------------------------

After Ancient Runes, I head up to the Common Room where I wanted to start on some Charms homework I had put off until today, and it is due tomorrow. I really don't know what's happening to me; if Harry or Ron found out, they would be incredibly suspicious.

When I get to my usual table, I sit down, pull out my book and open it to the proper page to begin my reading assignment. After just a few paragraphs, my eyes begin to flutter shut, but I hastily open them again, and continue from where I started.

The next thing I know, I am being woken up by Harry and Ron, who are staring at me with strange looks that tell me something is wrong.

"What is it?" I ask, hurriedly snatching up my things.

"It's nothing. Just… you missed Transfiguration. And we wanted to know why." Said Ron, rather hesitantly. "And what the _bloody_ _hell _happened to your hand?" He added, after noticing my hand, snatching it up and examining it.

"Nothing." I said, vehemently jerking my hand away when it began to sting where he had touched it. "I tripped on my way to Ancient Runes and had to go to the Hospital Wing. It was no big deal. She would have mended it all, but I was already late, so I refused and left. It doesn't even hurt." I lied, as my hand throbbed as though fire were coursing through it. "And I was just tired because I was up all last night tutoring Neville. I was going to work on some homework, and I must have dosed off. It won't happen again." Well, most of that was the truth: I had been tired, and I had stayed up all night tutoring Neville, but it probably will happen again.

"Okay. We can talk to Neville about keeping you up all night, if you want?" Harry offered, plopping into the chair next to me, tossing his bag unceremoniously onto the table, spilling papers and books in the process.

"No, it's okay. It won't happen again. We were just preparing for the test Snape warned us was coming up next week, and speaking of which, have either of you two studied?" I asked, bossily, though I really couldn't have cared less if they studied, or if they failed.

"Hermione, don't change the topic. You're exhausting yourself and it's not healthy. Now promise us you'll take care of yourself. Okay?" Harry said, leaning forward across the table to catch my eyes.

"Fine, alright. I guess you're right. I was just worried. I mean, I've gotten several letters from my parents, and they say that my grandmother's health is failing and I haven't seen her since the summer after 3rd year so I was just worried about her. I promise I'll start taking care of myself. Okay, Harry?" I lied.

I prayed that I hadn't already told them that all of my grandparents were dead. Well, all except for my dad's father, but he refuses to speak to any of us because he didn't approve of my father marrying my mother, so he disowned him, and I don't think he even knows I exist. My father's mother died in child birth, so I don't have any uncles or aunts from that side either. I don't know if my father's father is even alive anymore… nor do I care.

"Alright. Just… we're worried about you, Hermione. McGonagall told us to tell you that she needs to see you in her office tonight to discuss your grades. You know what that means? You're _failing _Transfiguration. And that can't be the only class you're failing." Harry glanced down at the parchment that I had started my Charms essay on, which was laying in front of me. "And see? You've barely started an essay that was assigned two weeks ago and is due _tomorrow_. That's just not like you!" He said, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Alright, alright! I get it. I'm not doing my best, my grades are slipping and I'm falling asleep in the middle of the day! I understand. I'll try harder. And I said it before; I'm _fine_! So just mind your own business! Everything will be back to normal soon." I snarled at them. As they both sat there, shocked, I gathered up all my things again, slung my bag over my shoulder, and headed out of the Common Room, on my way to the Great Hall for dinner.

_No doubt Terry will be there_, I think to myself, _if I have to, I'll sit with him; as annoying as he may be, he'll be there for me. I know it. I can't stand how clingy he is, but I don't have many other friends that are just mind and not Harry and Ron's too. And who do they think they were, accusing me of such things? It's my business and if I wanted them to delve into it, I'd ask them too. _I threw open the doors to the Great Hall and automatically head to the Ravenclaw table where- just as I predicted- Terry is sitting, reading _Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. _

"Hello, Terry. How are you?" I say, out of politeness, rather than actual interest in his well-being.

"Oh, I'm alright. What about y- what the hell happened to your hand?" He asks, snatching it up to inspect it.

"I just tripped on the stairs on my way to Ancient Runes, remember? You were in the class when I explained."

"Oh. I wasn't paying attention." He says, glancing back down at his book.

"Anyways- what are you reading?" I ask, trying to change the topic.

"Oh. _Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them_. It's really quite fascinating. See this thing here?" He says, gesturing towards a big lion-like creature with horns. "It's called a Liasauge. You see those horns?" _As if I could miss them, _I think, sarcastically, but only nod to let Terry know I had see them. "They have toxin in them that gets injected into the victim when the Liasauge shoves it's horns into the victim's skin. Isn't that just fascinating?" He says, excitedly.

"Yes. Yes, that's amazing." I said, piling mashed potatoes onto my plate. In truth, I thought it was gruesome, but it wouldn't do to tell Terry that.

As Terry babbles on aimlessly about different creatures he's read about while I daydream, I can see Harry and Ron enter the Hall. I stiffen instinctively, but don't take my eyes off of them, as they search the Gryffindor table for me. Terry notices I'm no longer paying him any attention and turns around to see what I'm staring at. When he sees Harry and Ron, he glowers at them for a second, then turns back to me and resumes our one-sided conversation as if it was never interrupted, but at this point, I can see Harry gesturing towards Terry and I and then Ron nodding, as they begin to come towards us.

"Terry." Harry says, nodding his head curtly at him. "We need to speak to Hermione for a bit. _Alone._" He said, before grabbing my arm, as Ron grabbed my bag. "She'll be back later, okay?" He said, tersely, before dragging me off to the Gryffindor table, where he proceeded to push me down onto the bench.

"Hey! What was that for?" I demanded, but stayed seated.

"You just stormed off before we had a chance to finish talking to you! Then you go running off to _him _afterwards, to, no doubt, tell him all about our little misunderstanding!" Said Ron, plopping into the place next to me, and glaring at me, his eyes icy.

"_Him_ has a name! And I didn't tell him _anything_ about our fight! He was telling me some truly _riveting _facts when you so callously yanked me away, which you had no right to do, I might point out!" I said, glowering at both of them.

"Yeah, alright. We had no right to do that. Sorry. But we needed to talk to you alone and that creep wouldn't have left us alone, and you know it!" Harry snapped back.

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?" I said, unenthusiastically.

"Well… we wanted to make sure you don't forget your thing with McGonagall. And that you remember to take care of yourself."

"Yes I remember it. Tonight. What time?" I ask.

"7:15." Said Ron.

"Okay. And yes, I will take better care of myself, okay? I know you guys are just worried, but you shouldn't be, okay?" I said, softening my voice.

"It's just… okay. Let us know if you need anything okay?" Said Harry, putting his hand on my shoulder. I instinctively jerked back when his fingers grazed an old scab that was there. Harry looked slightly offended, but I knew he would get over it soon enough.

"What time is it now?" I ask Harry.

"6:55."

"Alright, I'm going to head up to the Common Room to get a few things before heading down to McGonagall's office."

"Okay. We're gonna stay here and eat." Ron replied, not taking his eyes off his food.

"Right. See you later, guys." I said, before getting up and tossing my bag over my shoulder.

-------------------------------------

After I walked out of the Hall, I headed to the empty boy's bathroom on the 2nd floor. I had lied when I said I was going up to the Common Room; I just wanted an excuse to leave.

When I got in the bathroom, I sat down across from the sinks, like I always do, and pull out my razor.

_Today was a horrible day, _I think to myself, _but tomorrow has to be better. It has to be. _As I thought those things, my razor found its way down to the crook of my elbow, where I dragged it across my skin. The flesh instantly became red from my flowing blood.

I switched hands and dragged it across the same place on the opposite arm. Before I knew it, I was feeling light headed, and I could hear the blood splattering and staining the floor, as if from a great distance. The very last thing I felt was a splitting pain in the back of my head as I heard a far off thump; the sound of something heavy hitting the floor.

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! The fourth chapter should be up soon. Also, I know that I said that Charms was after dinner, which doesn't happen in the books, so sorry about that, but just let it slide this once, please? Thank you, please review!


	4. The Lies We Will Tell

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 4: The Lies We Will Tell

A/N: Hey readers, thanks so incredibly much for reading so far! I hope you like this chap; things are really starting to get intense lately. Let me know what you think by reviewing! I love getting reviews and every time I get a new review, I usually go write some more because it inspires me. Hope you enjoy!

And I'd like to thank my amazing beta, Anya, she's done such a fabulous job beta-ing, so thanks Anya!

Disclaimer: Yes. I finally admit it: I am the fantastic JKR in disguise as a teenager who is bored. Oh no wait- I think I got that mixed up, let me try again: I admit I am a teen who is bored who adores JKR and Harry Potter. Yeah, that's better. Oh- I also don't own Shut Up, that's bySimple Plan, so give them credit and go by one of their albums. (Does anyone even _read_ disclaimers anymore?)

_There you go_

_You're always alright_

_It's all a big show_

_It's all about you_

_You think you know_

_What everyone needs_

_You always take time to criticize me _

_It seems like ev'ry day_

_I make mistakes_

_I just can't get it right_

_It's like I'm the one you love to hate_

_But not today_

_So shut up, shut up, shut up!  
Don't wanna hear it!_

_Get up, get up, get up!_

_Get outta my way!_

_Step up, step up, step up!  
You'll never stop me!_

_Nothin' you say today is gonna bring me down_

_Well there you go_

_You never ask why_

_It's all a big lie_

_Whatever you do _

_You think you're special_

_But I know, and I know, and I know, and we know, that you're not!_

_You're always there to point out my mistakes_

_And shove them in my face_

_It's like I'm the one you love to hate_

_But not today_

_Don't tell me who I should be_

_And don't try to tell me what's right_

_For me_

_Don't tell me what I should do_

_I don't wanna waste my time_

_And watch you fade away_

_So shut up, shut up, shut up!_

Shut up--- Simple Plan

_I'm in a bed. _It was the first thought that came to my mind, and it was true too. I was in a bed. An unfamiliar bed that had sheets that were an unnaturally bright color of white; so bright they almost glowed. Only one thing stained them: blood.

_What on earth has happened? _I thought to myself, franticly. _Wait! I was supposed to go to McGonagall's office to discuss my grades. I remember talking to Harry and Ron, then going to the bathroom then… nothing. _Just as I think I'm beginning to remember what happened, a throbbing pain courses throughout my entire body- including my head, erasing all thoughts from my mind, as I let out a blood-curdling scream.

I can hear two people rush over to my side but I'm too busy shrieking to care who it is. As the pain dies down, I stop thrashing around and attempt to untangle the sheets from around my legs. Suddenly, I realize where I am: the Hospital Wing. Again.

"Hermione? Are you awake?" It's Terry.

"No! I'm just thrashing around and screaming with my eyes wide open and I'm _asleep!_" I snarl, sarcastically.

"Calm down, love." He said, rapping his arm around my shoulder, as Madam Pomfrey walks back into her office to, undoubtedly, get some sort of potion for me to take.

"Love?" I demand, shrugging off his arm.

"Yes. Why? Do you not like it? Because I can call you something else if you like? I don't like Hermy much, so what about… 'Mione? How's that work out for ya?" He said, rapping his arm back around my shoulders.

"No I _don't _like it! And get your damn arm off of me!" I said, throwing his arm off of me .

"Listen, love." He begins, but continues before I can reprimand him on the name. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Okay? Do you _know _how many people have died accidentally by hitting a tendon or a vein? A lot of people, love! A _lot!_ You honestly cannot do it again. I won't let you. I can talk to Dumbledore and he can have our schedules match up so we have all of the same classes together and we can walk everywhere together, and I'll talk to Parvarti or someone about keeping an eye on you when in the dormitory and you won't go up to your Common Room until you are going to go to sleep, and I'll even follow you into the bathroom if I have to, but you aren't ever going to do this again, do you understand me?" He demanded. The next thing I know, my hand has collided with his face and there's a bright red spot where it had been mere seconds before.

"How dare you?!" I scream at him. "How dare you come in here and start acting like my parent, like you _own _me like some sort of… some sort of _item_?! How- how _dare _you?! You have absolutely no right! And I will not be booted between caretakers like some kind of patient in a mental institute! I can take care of myself, even if I choose not to! If I want to cut myself, than by _hell _I am going to do it! You need to accept the fact that I don't need you and I don't want you near me!" I yell, whilst standing up.

"Fine! I was just trying to help, but then again, you _are _miss oh-so-perfect Hermione Granger, the over-achiever who just can't accept help because she just can't _stand _for anyone to see how damn weak she really is! You are _sick _Hermione! Sick in the mind! You shouldbe _assigned_ to a mental institute!" He yelled back, balling his hands into fists.

"UGH! You make me sick! This is all _your _fault! YOUR FAULT!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"DAMN YOU!" He screams at me, before dashing out of the room, slamming the infirmary doors behind him.

"Miss Granger?" It's Madam Pomfrey.

"What?" I ask, tiredly, falling back onto my bed.

"Here. Take this, deary." She says, handing me a bottle of dark brown liquid that smells like an animal that's been covered in saltwater. I do as she instructs, but regret it the second the liquid goes down my throat. "Would you care to explain to me what happened?" She asked, more as a demand posed as a question.

"Not really." I mutter, under my breath. "Um… I don't really remember. I think I hit my head. And then Terry brought me up here, after I passed out, or at least that's what I assume happened." I say, loud enough for her to hear.

"Ah. Well then, would you care to explain to me all the scars on your arms and legs?" She says, sternly.

"Tripped on the stairs." I mutter.

"Mmhmm. Well then, I'll just mend them."

"No!" I shout, before I can think about what I am saying. "I-I mean… I don't want then healed. It's a long story. Part of a dare that Harry gave me. Yeah, that's it."

"No it's not. Deary, you did this to yourself. Am I correct?" I was shocked. How dare she assume she knew everything!

"Well… okay, I did it. But I _swear _I won't do it again! This experience has really opened my eyes; I will never intentionally hurt myself again!" I lie.

"Alright. Make sure that you don't." She says, sternly. "You are free to leave now."

"Wait- Madam Pomfrey? What was that throbbing pain I felt when I first woke up? The one that made me scream?"

"Ah. I do believe you hit your head. I'm not quite sure why the pain hit you so very suddenly, but I'm sure it was only natural. I suggest you go talk to Professor Flitwick now about missing Charms."

"I missed Charms?" I ask, stricken.

"Yes, you did. Now, out!" She says, before shooing be out of the infirmary.

-------------------------------------

I hurriedly head to McGonagall's office. When I arrive, I knock impatiently on her office door.

"Enter." I hear her stern voice say.

"Professor! I'm so sorry I'm late! I was heading up here, but on my way I tripped on the stairs and broke my arm. I had to go to the Hospital Wing to get it mended." I lie, swiftly.

"Miss Granger," She says, firmly, "It is unacceptable to be late, but since I assume this will be the last time, I think I can let it go. But missing Transfiguration this afternoon is inexcusable. Might I ask why you were not present?" She demands, her demeanor softening only slightly.

"Oh. Well, you see, I, um… I stayed up all night helping Neville to prepare for our Potions quiz that is coming up next week, and when I went back to the Common Room to work on an essay for Charms, I must have fallen asleep by accident. I swear it will never happen again." I say, quickly, trying to explain myself.

"It is still inexcusable. You will have detention tomorrow night. Report to my office at 8 o'clock sharp. I will consult with Filch about what needs to be done around the castle and I will tell you your punishment when you arrive. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Professor McGonagall." I say, quietly.

"Now. I suggest you go find Professor Flitwick and tell him why you missed Charms."

"Yes, professor." I answer, obediently, gathering up my things and pushing open the door to leave.

After I found Flitwick and told him I had been in the Hospital Wing, and he told me what my homework was, I headed up to the Common Room to find Harry and Ron.

"Hermione, why did you miss Charms? McGonagall couldn't have kept you that long?" Asks Ron, both of them leaping to their feet.

"No, she didn't. I accidentally fell on the stairs and broke my arm and had to go to the Hospital Wing. I already explained it to Flitwick, it's not a problem."

"Well… alright then. You do seem to be falling an awful lot today." Harry says, questioningly.

"Just one of those days, you know? Now. Let's finish up some homework, alright?" I ask, pretending to be energetic, when all I really want to do is go up to bed and sleep through all of tomorrow, but of course, I can't do that.

"Yeah, alright." Harry says, as Ron grumbles something incoherent.

"Oh, Hermione? Do you think after we finish out homework, you could give me some more tips on how to ask Cho out? I think I'm almost ready to do it." Harry asks, excitedly.

"Yes, of course, Harry." I say, tiredly.

Today has been one heck of a day. I honestly don't know why I can't say no to anyone who asks for help. I know I'm taking on too much, but I can't help it._ I'll just have to stick it out tomorrow, and this time_, I vow to myself, _I __**won't **__fall asleep! _

I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that everything is fine.

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it was so short, the next one will be a little bit longer, and the one after that will be really long! I've gotten some of the next one written so it should be up soon. And also, the reason Hermione cussed a bit in this one was 'cause she was really mad. It won't happen much 'cause that's out of character, but I had to put it in this chap for dramatic effect, you know? The next chap is where the plot thickens considerably. I think I'll leave you guys with a little chapter tease:

_The blade against my skin seemed to erase all my problems. I could barely even remember Ginny's voice, pestering me for advice, as the blood flowed out from under my skin. _

_Suddenly, I heard the door swing open, making me drop my razor._

_As it went spinning across the floor, I heard the person say, "Hermione? What are you doing?"_

Please, please tell me what you thought! Thanks for everyone whose read (especially those have reviewed, favorited, or alerted my story!)


	5. Those Things I Do For You

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 5: Those Things I Do For You

A/N: Thanks everyone, for reading! It's never too late to start reviewing now -hint hint-. The chap after this one is going to be nice and long, and packed with some Ron/Hermione action (which I'm terrible sorry I haven't put much in, Ron and Hermione get quite a lot of moments, especially in the next chappy!) and some heart-to-hearts. Also, I forgot to mention previously that I'd be glad to dedicate a chapter to you, or someone you know. You don't have to be a self-harmer, but I'd be glad to dedicate it to you. Or if you want, I could mention your story and advise people to read it. I'd be glad to do whatever, you can either Private Message me, or just review and ask and I'd be happy to do it!

Replies to reviews:

**akaccino: **Thank you for the three reviews you've left! They made me smile! Thanks for the compliment; I personally don't think I'm very good at building suspense, but anyways. Well, I'm not gonna give anything away, but you're right, Terry is up to no good. Thanks for reviewing!

**RH4L**: Thank you, I'm glad you like it. Don't think we're rid of Terry forever, he's s gonna be popping up eventually. I'm working hard to get the next few chaps out quickly because it's really getting good! The next chap is gonna be awesome (for me it is anyway). Thanks for the review!

**Kokoro Onee chan: **Wow, thank you! I'm so glad you like it! I hope you stick around, 'cause it's about to get real interesting!

**tazzie21: **Thank you! I'm glad you like it.

Disclaimer: Don't claim to own HP, if you still think I do: I don't. If you _still _think I own HP, then… well then I really have nothing left to say to you. Except for that I don't own Catch Me When I Fall, that's by Ashlee Simpson (yes, I know, many of you probably hate her stuff, I hate most of it too, but this one had fitting lyrics, so don't send me hate mail please!)

_Is anybody out there?_

_Does anybody see?_

_That when the lights are off_

_Something's killin' me_

_I know it seems like people care_

'_Cause they're always around me_

_But when the day is done_

_And everybody runs_

_Who will be the one to save me_

_From my self?_

_Who will be the one who's there?_

_And not ashamed to see me crawl?_

_Who's gonna catch me when I fall?_

_But when the show I over_

_And it's empty everywhere_

_It's so hard to face_

_Goin' back alone_

_So I walk around the city_

_Anything, anything to clear my head_

_I've got no where to go_

_No where but home_

_It may seem I have everything_

_But everything is nothing  
When the ride that you've been on_

_That you're comin' off_

_Leaves you feelin' lost_

Catch Me When I Fall--- Ashlee Simpson

"Right. So here's the plan," Harry begins, sitting next to me and beginning to pile his plate high. "After Lunch is over, we have a break, right?"

"Yes. But, would you mind telling me why we are concocting a plan. And why not with Ron? He's the strategist, not me. We can't have a good plan without him." I say, taking another bite of my sandwich.

"Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. The plan is how I'm going to ask out Cho."

"And how exactly does that involve me? I taught you the basics, you do the rest. Wait! You are _not _devising some sort of plan for me to ask her out for you, are you? Because that is simply _not_ acceptable!" I say, in my most dignified manor.

"Wha-? Oh no, no. That's not it at all. No, the thing is, she's always surrounded with her friends. So I was thinking, you distract her friends. I dunno, ask them if they want to come study with you… or if you could borrow their… notes, for some subject. Do we have any subjects with the Ravenclaws? Oh, shit! They're all a year older than you!"

"Language, Harry!" I snap, sharply.

"Wha- oh, right. Sorry."

"Mmhmm. I'll think of something. So I distract them, you ask her out, you go out, you ask her out again, and eventually she's going to end up hanging around all of us all the time? Hmm…." I drifted off into silence.

"Er… theoretically. Hopefully, she'll say yes. Then the rest is history… figuratively speaking, of course." Harry says, slowly.

"Yes, yes, of course." I say, absentmindedly. I am trying to think up a way to distract Cho's friends.

"Wait- Do you mind her hanging around with you? Because, I mean, it'd be just like Terry. Except in my opinion, Cho is much less annoying. No offense meant."

"None taken. Terry and I are no longer speaking." I state, briskly.

"You're not? Why?" Harry asked, curiously.

"Got into a fight." I say, vaguely.

"_About what?"_ Harry questions, as if he were questioning a three-year-old about who spilled water on the floor.

"Oh. It- it was nothing. He was being too over-protective."

"Oh. Well anyway, do you mind her hanging around, you know, if everything goes according to plan?"

"Well. No, no of course not." I lie, swiftly. In truth, I really don't like Cho. I think Harry's only attracted to her because of how pretty she is. Once he realizes that she's not what he wants, he'll move on. Secretly, I'm hoping he'll move on to Ginny, but Ron would be so angry. Also, I think I've seen quite a few guys eyeing her, so she could have virtually any guy in the entire school.

You see, I feel like Cho is too superficial. Like Lavender. They care too much about looks. I still feel bad for Cho, of course. I mean, her boyfriend died last year. She must feel so awful, but I think she is over-exaggerating her grief a little bit.

Of course, Cho isn't nearly as bad as _Lavender. _Ugh! I can't _stand _Lavender! She's so… perfect. Beautiful; does good in school without obsessing over it like I do; has had several boyfriends who would jump off a bridge for her (including Ron last year); has a thousand friends. I hate her, I really do. I wouldn't speak to Ron for the longest time last year, after the Yule Ball.

-------------------------------------

I remember, we were supposed to go with each other (as friends of course) and Harry was going to go with Parvarti. Victor had asked me, but I had turned him down to go with Ron, but we have kept in touch since then through letters.

I can still remember seeing Lavender run in our direction, with tears coming down her face. I still kind of liked her then, so I felt sorry for her, because earlier I had seen Seamus kissing one of Lavender's friends. Lavender had been going out with Seamus for about a month by that time, and I remember her sitting up late at night talking with Parvarti about how they were going to be together forever, because that was the longest relationship she had ever had.

When she reached Ron and I, she hiccupped loudly, and I politely handed her my drink to see if she wanted any. She refused and asked if we'd seen Parvarti.

"No, I'm sorry Lavender. I think she's outside walking with someone." I replied, sipping my drank daintily.

"Oh. Um… could I join you?" She asked, shyly.

"Yeah, sure." I said, scooting over so she could sit next to me. "I'm going to go get another drink. Would you like one?" I asked her, nicely.

"Yes, thank you." She said, quietly.

Then, when I had come back to our table, I had been surprised to see them gone. Harry came over and told me that they had told him to tell me that they were going for a walk. I decided to go and find them to give Lavender her drink, and to see if I could comfort her, because Ron is terrible with crying girls.

When I found them, they were snogging on a bench, pressed up against each other so tightly that I couldn't even distinguish her dress robes from his in the dark.

I heard a moan coming from Ron that made me drop both glasses of butterbeer in the grass. The sound of breaking glass made them both arise.

"Oh. Er, hello Hermione." Ron said, blushing all the way down to his toes.

"Feeling better Lavender?" I said, sweetly.

"Oh… um, yes I am." She answered, uncertainly. She had heard me talking about Ron in the dorms with Ginny and she knew how I felt about him.

"Well. That's good. Sweet revenge always makes people feel better, doesn't it? But usually, it doesn't involve going behind your cheating boyfriend's back and snogging the first guy that came along, especially when said boyfriend doesn't even see you snogging him. Not to mention," I say, breathing in deeply. "Listening all those nights when you'd moan Seamus's name lustily, was absolutely and totally _disgusting_ and I hope you know that you make me want to _hurl_!" I said, getting steadily louder with each new proclamation. I could feel the heat in my face from how angry I was, but I didn't care.

"You make me sick too!" She retorted, lamely.

I didn't stay to hear what Ron would have said. I stormed back up to my tower, and the rest is history.

-------------------------------------

"Hermione? You okay there?" It was Harry. "You totally spaced out there for a minute." He explained.

"Yes, I'm fine. Flashback moment, you know?" I said, trying to make my trip down Memory Lane seem insignificant.

"Oh. Yeah that happens to me too sometimes. So, after lunch, on our break, does that work for you?" He asked, quietly.

"Um… yeah that'll work. Meet me outside the kitchens at 12;15, alright?"

"Yeah, that works."

"Okay. See you later." I said, grabbing up my bag and swinging it over my back, it bouncing lightly as I walked out of the Great Hall on my way to Ancient Runes.

-------------------------------------

At 12:05 I was in the kitchens, talking to Dobby. When 12:15 came, I went outside to wait for Harry.

After he got there, we both headed upstairs to go to the Great Hall because this was when the 6th year Ravenclaws had lunch.

"Alright. I'm going to go over there and tell Cho that I found something of Cedric's and I thought she might want it, that'll make her want to come by herself, without her friends. I take her to a classroom where I've hidden an old truck that I carved Cedric's name in and I'm going to tell her it's his old trunk. She gets weepy, I have to go to the loo, and you just _coincidentally _come into the room, comfort her, ask her out and I never come back. Sound good to you?" I explain, quickly, as to not waist time.

"Sounds good." Harry says, both excitedly and nervously.

-------------------------------------

As I walked towards the Ravenclaw table, I could see Cho with about 7 girls around her, talking and smiling. It was obvious they were enjoying herself, but I felt only slightly remorseful for what I was about to do; after all, it will make for a happier Harry and he needs to perk up a bit after Cedric's death.

"Um. Cho?" She looks up, evidently expecting someone a little bit more… popular other than the bookish girl with the poofy hair, as I've heard them call me before._ 'The bookish girl with the poofy hair who's friends with Harry. I wonder how she got to be his friend. Put Spell over him, you think?'_ I had heard them say while in the bathroom as I saw them applying lip gloss and fluffing their hair.

It used to bother me, but I learned to get over it. Most of the time, when I hear those remarks, I just take out my razor and forget about their snide remarks. The first time I ever cut myself was the day after Ron got together with Lavender.

_I saw Lavender and Parvarti walk into the Dormitories and quickly shut the curtains around my bed so they would think I wasn't here. I had been crying all day and had told Ginny to tell everyone I was sick. She understood perfectly and soothed me, but she was in class when they had come in._

"_I know! You honestly should have seen the look on her face when she saw Won-Won and I!" It was Lavender's whiny voice, both of them laughing their heads off._

_**Won-Won?**__ I asked myself, disgustedly. _

"_I wish I could have been there! I'm sure it was hilarious." This time it was Parvarti. _

"_I was just so glad to have something over her perfect little self for just once! She's so… ugh!" Lavender giggled, not being able to find words for how horrible I must have been._

_After they grabbed something they needed and had left, I jumped up with tears pouring down my face. I had run to the bathroom and suddenly remembered a book I had read about mental problems. I had been especially interested in something the writer had called self-mutilation. They said the most common tool for it was a razor. They had talked to recovered self-mutilators and how they said it had helped them. I remembered I had hated the name self-mutilation from the very first time I heard it. It seemed so barbaric._

_I walked to my cubby where all my toiletry items were and pulled my razor for shaving down and walked calmly into a stall. That's when I had made my first cut, last year. I haven't stopped since. _

_Back to business!_ I think to myself, as I see Cho and her friends staring at me like some sort of freak.

"Um. I found something of Cedric's," Her eyes begin to water just as I say his name. "And I thought you might want it. If you want it, you can follow me and I'll show you." I say, slowly.

"Yes. Yeah, I'll come." She says, ignoring her friends' sympathetic glances.

-------------------------------------

Once we got into the classroom, everything went exactly as planned. She got weepy, I 'went to the loo' and Harry came in and somehow (I didn't hear the details) they ended up snogging. After that, Harry asked Cho to be his girlfriend, she said yes and all was happy in la-la land. Well, for them anyways.

You see, I thought I was going to get some spare time to study, maybe pull up my grades and stuff, but only an hour after I heard the news of them getting together, who comes along? Ginny, that's who.

"Ginny! Oh my- what happened? Why are you crying?" I had asked, stricken, as Ginny fell onto the couch beside me in the Common Room.

She was silent for a few moments, before exclaiming, "It's Dean!" She cried, dramatically.

I closed my eyes for several moments, just focusing on breathing like my mother had told me to when she decided we both needed to take yoga the summer before 4th year because we "needed to de-stress and spend mother-daughter bonding time." (Her words, not mine.)

_So she has issues with her boyfriend? BIG DEAL! _I was screaming inside m head, but I kept my thoughts to myself.

"You know that plan I came up with? Ignoring him, being great at everything?" She didn't even bother to look at me to see if I had nodded or not. "Well it was a crash-and-burn! He hooked up with Melanie Fidello! _Melanie Fidello, _Hermione!" She exclaimed, like it was some feat that Melanie existed. "I mean, her of all people! She is such a… a… she is such a _skank_!"

"Ginny!" I cried, horrified she'd call Melanie that. I'd talked to her a few times and she seemed nice enough.

"She is!" Ginny said, throwing her hands in the air. She got up, obviously thinking I wouldn't help her- which I didn't want to at all- and stomped off muttering something along the lines of "bloody Ravenclaw with her bloody innocence! Acting like she's _all that!" _Before I hastily stud up, proclaiming, "Wait, Gin. I'll help." I sighed, reluctantly, as she hugged me fiercely.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She cried, still hugging me.

"Alright. Are they actually dating or did they just…?" I trail into silence, pushing Ginny off of me and back down into her seat on the couch.

"Just made out, yeah. I don't think they're together but you never know." Ginny says, perching on the edge of her seat, looking eager.

-------------------------------------

After talking to Ginny for hours on end, we decided (after many disagreements) that it'd be best if Ginny talked to Dean and they figured everything out. _On their own! _

Ginny didn't quite understand the 'on their own' thing, because she asked me if I'd come along and help her.

"Ugh." I mumbled exasperatedly, under my breath. Then louder, I said "Gin. You have to do this _on your own_. He's _your _boyfriend, _your _issue, _your _problem. So therefore, _you _confront him. Understand?" I asked, as if I was talking to a three-year-old.

"Well fine! If you're going to be that way!" She exclaimed, snatching up her things and marching out of the Common Room.

_Why am I even friends with her? She's so mean and catty sometimes! _I thought to myself, but got up nonetheless and ran after her, yelling, "Ginny! Ginny, no I didn't mean it!"

Her back stiffened, but she stopped. She didn't turn around though.

"Gin. I'll be glad to help you. Just… you have to do it on your own, okay?" I said, nicely.

"… Fine. I guess you're right." She said grudgingly.

"Good…. I, um, I have to- to go." I said, suddenly getting nervous.

"Where?" She said, curiously.

"Oh, just… just over… over there." I said, gesturing wildly with my hands to somewhere to our left.

"…Whatever." Said Ginny, before walking off.

_Oh, thank goodness! _I thought, while I ran off towards the 4th floor boy's bathroom to de-stress.

After I got into the bathroom, I walked over to the sinks, just like I always have. Only one thing was different from every other time I had done this: this time I forgot to lock the door.

I glanced in the mirror. Just as always, I was shocked to see my face; thin, pale, with dark circles under my eyes. After yanking my eyes away from the horrid sight, I sat down under one of the sinks and pulled my razor out of my bag.

I pulled my left sleeve up, realizing as I did so, that my arm was already full of scars with no room left for anymore cuts. I pulled that sleeve down and pulled my right one up, switching the blade to my left hand as I did so. My right arm didn't have many scars because I'm right handed, so it was always easier to do my left arm, but pretty soon, my right arm will probably be covered in scars too. Then I'll have to move onto my legs.

I pushed the blade against my skin, then pulled it slowly and precisely across my arm. A long, thin line of blood appeared, slowly beginning to leak out. I took the razor and again yanked it across my skin, this time, faster, messier and rougher.

Just as I was beginning to make a new cut, I heard the door open.

"Hermione? What are you doing?"

A/N: Ooh! Cliffhanger! Mwahahahahahaha. I feel evil! But don't worry, guys, the next chap should be up in record time! I haven't started it yet, but I'm going to soon. It'll come quick because it'll be such a fun chap to write! Let me know what you think… by reviewing! You can flame it, whatever. Tell me it's horrible, fabulous, sucky, cheesy, whatever but please review! Please? Thanks for reading!


	6. My Lies I Couldn't Hide

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 6: My Lies I Couldn't Hide

A/N: Hi everyone! Wow, I can't believe I'm on the sixth chapter already! I hope you all enjoy this chap, I certainly do. This is one of those revelation/fluffy/serious/heart-to-hearts kinda chaps. Remember, I'd be glad to dedicate a chap to you or someone you know, just ask! But since, no one's asked yet, I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to **akaccino **because she always leaves awesome reviews, so thanks **akaccino**!

**akaccino: **Yes, cliffhangers are fun to write! They suck, but they're fun to write. I'm sure you'll love this chap- it's got plenty on Ron/Hermione action! (And I agree, I hate Lavender too.)

**RH4L: **Thank you, I'm glad you like it. I don't like the way Ginny is acting either, but it's all part of the plan, so don't worry. (Gin was always one of my favorites in the books.)

**tazzie21: **I know, cliffhangers are so evil, aren't they? Don't worry, I'm not famous for cliffys, so don't expect any more, 'cause I'm usually horrid at writing 'em. Thanks for the review!

**Kokoro Onee chan: **That _was_ a rather evil way to end it, wasn't it? Ah well, I'm not one for cliffhangers so don't expect anymore. I definitely agree, Hermione should tell everyone to just piss off, but I can't have her do that right now. You're right, one of the reasons she does self-harm is because everyone relies on her so much, good job on picking up on that! Thanks for reviewing!

Disclaimer: Not that anyone cares, but I don't own Harry Potter. Or Bleed, that's by Evanescence (and they rock, so go buy their albums if you haven't.)

Summary of what happened last chapter:

_Cho got weepy, I 'went to the loo' and Harry came in and somehow (I didn't hear the details) they ended up snogging. _

"_Dean hooked up with Melanie Fidello!" Exclaimed Ginny. "Gin. I'll be glad to help you." I said, nicely. _

_Just as I was beginning to make a new cut, I heard the door open._

"_Hermione? What are you doing?" _

_How can I pretend that I don't see  
What you hide so carelessly?  
I saw her bleed  
You heard me breathe  
So I froze inside myself  
And turned away  
I must be dreaming_

We all live (Why?)  
We all die (Why?)  
That does not begin to justify you

It's not what it seems  
Not what you think  
No I must be dreaming  
It's only in my mind  
Not in real life  
No I must be dreaming

Help, you know I've got to tell someone  
Tell them what I know you've done  
I fear you but spoken fears can come true

We all live (Why?)  
We all die (Why?)  
That does not begin to justify you

Just in my mind  
Not in real life  
I must be dreaming 

Bleed--- Evanescence

I froze. I knew that voice. I've known it since I was 11 years old. It belongs to a certain, tall, gangly, red-haired best friend of mine who I have secretly been crushing on since 3rd year.

"Hermione? I said, _what are you doing?!" _

I couldn't speak. I couldn't even look at him. I was staring at my bleeding arm. I didn't even notice as the razor dropped from my hand and slid across the floor. I was still staring at my arm, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ron bend down and pick up the razor. He straightened up, then walked over to me, and sat down next to me.

_Be strong, Hermione. Be strong, don' t cry. You can't cry. Remember, strong, dependable Hermione. Remember that, _my brain was telling.

But I couldn't follow those instructions.

I was always so good at hiding my emotions, but at one point or another in one persons life, they're going to have to let go of their mask for just a few minutes. It can be at any point in life, but it will happen. For me, this moment happened to be now.

I couldn't hold back the tears; they flowed silently down my face, mixing with the blood on my arm, swirling and splattering on the floor, soaking the hems of my jeans in blood.

Ron wasn't looking at me. He was staring blindly across the room, his eyes fixed on a part of the wall. When I let out a soft sob, he jerked his eyes away from the wall and looked at me. The moment our eyes met, I looked away, too ashamed to say anything, let alone look at him.

"Hermione?" His voice was soft, caring. Almost like he wanted to make sure I was real, make sure I was actually there.

He held up the razor in one hand and held it out in front of me. He took his other hand and placed it on my cheek, turning my face so I had to look at him. "Hermione? Is this yours?" He said, moving the razor so it was in my line of vision. I couldn't speak, but I nodded my head.

Ron let out a breath. He let the hand that had been cupping my face drop down to his side. After several long moments, he turned to me and said slowly "…Why?"

I let out another sob as I shrugged my shoulders and buried my face in my arms.

After a moment, I felt a pair of strong, sturdy arms circle around me, pulling my head off of my arms and onto Ron's shoulder. I could feel Ron's calloused hand stroking my hair, while the other hand was rubbing small circles in my back. I could feel my tears wetting his gray T-shirt, but for once, I didn't care what happened. I just cried, letting someone in for the first time in over a year. His face was buried in my mass of hair.

We sat like this, just holding onto each other for dear life, for a long time. I didn't know how long, but I could feel my back becoming stiff from sitting hunched over for such a long time.

After I drew back, I still couldn't look him in the eye. Ron, obviously, didn't have this problem, for I could feel his eyes on me. After I finally met his gaze, I saw that he didn't look angry or disgusted, like I thought he might. He looked sympathetic, and in my opinion, that's almost as bad as disgust or anger.

We continued to stare at each other for several minutes until I just couldn't stand it anymore and said loudly "just say something, would you?" Almost desperately.

Ron was silent for a few more moments before asking, "well… what do you want me to say?"

"I don't know! Just say something, _anything!" _I cried, desperately. As I said this, a few more tears slipped down my face. Upon seeing this, Ron reached over and gently brushed them away with his thumb.

"How long?" He asked, reaching over, picking up my still-bleeding arm to examine it.

"Long enough." I said, reluctant to tell him when it actually started.

"Exactly how long?" He said. He was being patient, but I knew that it would only last for a little bit longer if I kept this up.

"I started the day after the Yule Ball." I stated, quietly.

"Why? I mean, what made you start?"

"I just heard a few girls talking about me and I was really on the edge that day. I didn't know what to do so I just… just picked up my razor and… and did it." I said slowly.

"Which girls?" Ron said, sounding angry.

"That's really not importa-"

"It's important to me!" Ron cut me off.

"It was… it was Lavender. And Parvarti." I said, slowly.

"Oh…. What did they say?" Ron said, not meeting my eyes.

"They just… they were just saying how annoying I was- you know, goody-goody-two-shoes kind of stuff- and how Lavender 'loved having something over me'" I said, reluctant to tell him what they said about me.

"What did she have over you?" Ron asked, oblivious as always.

"You." I said bluntly.

"Me?" Ron said, sounding stunned.

"Yes you!" I said exasperatedly.

"How was- oh." Ron said, finally understanding.

We both blushed when we realized just how close we were, but didn't move away.

I looked up at Ron again as he began speaking again. "So you… you… you, you know?" Ron asked, shyly.

"Yes. I cut if that's what you're asking." I said, never looking away.

"Oh." He sounded… scared.

"What?" I said, hoping he wasn't about to tell me he couldn't be my friend anymore.

"It's just… you seem so… you know, put together, perfect and stuff." He sighed.

"No I don't. Don't tell me you didn't notice all the trips to the bathroom, because I heard you talking to Harry about it, and you know I'm failing all my subjects. And you know Terry and I weren't study partners, he-"

"So you were dating behind my back!" Ron exclaimed angrily.

"What? No! Just listen. He found me doing it and became my shadow after that. It's not like I _wanted _him around me!"

"Oh. Okay then…. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. He sounded so sweet, like a lost puppy.

"It's just… I don't know. I thought you wouldn't treat me the same. Or you wouldn't want to be my friend, and I can't not have you as a friend!" I cried, holding back tears again. "Not to mention I didn't want Harry blaming himself and Ginny's been distracted with school and Dean." I added, solemnly.

"You could have told me! I would have listened, I would have helped!" He sounded distraught as he said this.

"I know. I just… I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because… I don't know why. I just couldn't." I said, wondering now why I hadn't told him.

After a few more minutes of silence, he looked up at me again with a pleading look in his eyes. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Don't tell Harry! Please, please don't tell Harry! Or anyone else for that matter. I'm not ready for anyone else to know." I begged.

"You're not ready for anyone to know and yet you're telling me?" He asked, confusedly.

"No. I'm not ready for anyone but you to know." I whispered.

"Me? You want me to know?" Ron asked, just as quietly as me.

"Of course I want you to know." I said, getting up and beginning to pace.

"Why me? What can I do that Harry or Ginny can't?" Ron said, jumping up as well.

"I don't know! You were just the person I felt like I could tell, and if you don't like that, I'm sorry but it's the truth!" I cried, desperately.

"No! That's not what I meant!" He cried, grabbing my arms and spinning me around to face him. "Don't think that! I just… what can I do that they can't? I don't get it!"

"I told you, I don't know! There's just something that makes me want to tell you and not Harry and Ginny!" I cried exasperatedly. "What's wrong with that?"

He pulled me close again, wrapping his arms around me waist and rocking me side to side, slowly. "No. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the same with you for me." He whispered quietly in my ear. 

"It is?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Of course." He said, brushing his hand lightly across my hair.

"Was… was it my fault?" Ron asked guiltily.

"No! It was nobody's fault but mine!" I said. I can't believe he is blaming himself, I thought it would be Harry feeling guilty.

"It was Lavender and Parvati's though, wasn't it?"

"No. Everything had been building in my for so long, that's just what made me crack. It was the straw that broke the camel's back."

"What camel?" Ron asked stupidly.

"It's a Muggle saying." I said, smiling.

"Well, anyway. Isn't it my fault then? I mean, Lavender wouldn't have said that if I hadn't, you know… dated her."

"No, it's not your fault. That was just the last straw. There was so much that made me start, not just you and Lavender. That's over now and I haven't stopped yet, have I?"

"I guess not. So it really isn't my fault?" He said, pulling back, letting his hands slide down my shoulders and arms, stopping to latch onto my wrists.

"No, Ronald. It's not your fault. It's _my _fault! _Mine _not yours! Understand?"

"I… Okay. Okay, I get it."

"Good." I sighed, glad he knew it wasn't his fault.

"D-does it hurt?" He asked curiously.

"No. Yeah. It's hard to explain."

"Would you mind explaining it to me?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Not at all. What happens is, I make the cut and then… it's like I can't feel the pain automatically, I feel it in the back of my mind and I can bring out the pain if I choose to. It all depends on if I want to feel pain or not."

"Okay. I can sorta get that. Is there anything I can do, Hermione? _Anything_? Other than not telling, of course."

"Just… could you just… just be there? For me. I mean, it's like I'm there for everyone- Harry with Cho, Ginny with Dean and Neville with school- Just be there for me. I'll be there for you, but someone has to help me, because I can't take much more. Please Ron. Just help me." I begged him, with silent tears running down my face.

"I'll be there. I swear. Just tell me when, I'll be there." Ron said, pulling me into yet another hug.

After only a few seconds, I pulled back and wiped my tears away.

"Thank you." I whispered, so softly I wasn't even sure he heard me but he smiled regardless.

"Damn, Hermione. I'm so sorry this happened to you!" He said, beginning to pace.

"It's not your fault!" I said. _I thought we went over this already! _I thought exasperatedly to myself.

"I know! It's no one's fault, but I'm still sorry you're suffering this much! No one should have to go through this; _No one!" _He said, vehemently.

"I know. But I am going through it and you can't change what I've been through. You can, however, help me in the future." I stated calmly, placing a placating hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing.

"I know. And I swear to you, Hermione, I'll be there. I'll make it better. I will. _Please _rely on me! You can't do this by yourself!" He swore passionately.

"I know I can't. That's why I'm talking to you. I know you can help me, you don't need to prove it to me. I know." I said, amazed at how well he was taking all of this.

"What happened to us?" Ron asked, more to himself than to me.

"What?" I asked. _Oh no, _I thought, _is he talking about our relationship? Does he know I fancy him? Does he feel the same? _The questions were exploding in my head.

"It's just. We met in 1st year and everything was fine. We all got into trouble and Harry faced You-Know-Who for the 2nd time but everything was fine. 2nd year was worse. You were petrified," he looked at me with fire in his eyes when he said this. "That was horrible. Then Ginny was taken down to the Chamber and we had to go down there to get her. 3rd year we had that stupid fight about Scabbers and Crookshanks. Then we met Sirius and Lupin. That was an okay year, other than fighting with you. Last year. That was the worst year. Everything was great up until the Yule Ball. I mean, Harry and I got into a fight but we got over that. And he got picked for the competition and we were all worried about him. Then the Yule Ball came and I messed everything up. I mean, Lavender was so horrible. Why did I even date her?" He asked himself disgustedly. "Then we didn't talk for months. And you had so much going on, more than I ever knew. Now with- with this," he gestured towards the discarded razor on the floor, in a pool of blood. "I was such a git. How could you ever forgive me for what I did to you? For what I let _her _do to you?" He rounded on me, looking into my eyes for answers.

"Because you're my best friend. Why do you think?"

"And then at the end of the year," he continued, as if I'd never said anything. "With Cedric gone and everything. And then this year, everything seemed so… normal. Harry was depressed and guilty, of course, but he's getting over it. Now he's with Cho and Ginny's having issues with Dean. You helped everyone no matter what you were going through in private. The only thing odd was _Terry_." Ron spat his name like a disease. "I knew something wasn't right there. I could just tell he _wanted _you and I didn't like it! There's something not right about him, Hermione! You shouldn't be friends with him!" He said.

"I'm not." I stated simply.

"You're not? Why?"

"We got into a fight. I don't want to talk about it." I said whilst crossing my arms over my chest and looking away from him. I didn't want to tell him about the Hospital Wing scene; it was too embarrassing.

"Okay. You don't have to tell me." He said, rather reluctantly.

"Thank you." I said, glancing at him once more.

"Now this," he sighed loudly. "This was something I would never have guessed in a thousand years." He said, quietly.

"I know, Ron. Everyone always thought I was perfect. Do they even see me as _human_?" I demanded, suddenly angry at everyone for expecting so much of me.

"I don't know! It's outrageous what we expected of you and I'm so sorry! You're human to me, Hermione!"

"To you, maybe, but to everyone else? I don't think so."

"I can talk to them! I'll just tell them that your grades are slipping- which they are, don't deny it- and could they please be independent for once and not rely on you so damn much!"

"Language, Ron." I said, automatically.

"Yeah, yeah. But I could, I really could."

"That… that would be nice. Thank you, Ron." I said, surprised by his generous offer.

"Not a problem." He said, quickly.

"No, really. You have no idea how much that'd mean to me." I said thankfully.

"I'm just glad I can help. I'm so sorry I didn't notice anything was wrong!" He said, still a little bit guilty.

"No Ron. You noticed more than anyone else did! I hid it yet you still noticed something was wrong. Harry was too caught up in Cho and Ginny in Dean to notice anything but _you _noticed and _you _cared! So, thank you."

"Y-you're welcome." Ron said slowly.

I glanced at my wrist watch. "Oh my! Ron, we have to go! We've already missed Charms and Defense! We've got Potions now and Snape will kill us since we're already late." I exclaimed, shocked we had missed our classes.

"Right. Let's go." Ron said, beginning to stride towards the door.

"No wait!" I cried out, stopping him.

"What?" He asked curiously. I just pointed at the razor and dried blood.

"We have to clean it up!" I cried, rushing over to pick up the razor. I shoved it down into my bag, not bothering to put it into the ripped seam. Ron quickly _squirgify-_ed the blood and we ran out, into the hallway and beginning to head down to the dungeons.

Just as we were getting down to the correct floor, I turned to Ron. "Ron, are my eyes all puffy? From, you know, crying?" I asked worriedly.

"Er. Just a bit." He said reluctantly.

"Ugh! I must look terrible!" I exclaimed.

"No you don't. You could never look terrible." Ron mumbled. I smiled at him before wiping my eyes several times to make sure I had no more tears. I guess I'd just have to put up with the Slytherins' stares and rude comments and my other friends' questions.

"Thank you." I said.

We looked at each other, both took deep breaths and pushed open the doors leading to Potions.

"Stir to your left 5 ti- ah. Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley. So nice of you to _finally _join us." Snape leered at us.

"Er. Sorry, sir. We got caught up in…" Ron glanced at me for suggestions on what we could have gotten caught up in.

"We got caught up in homework." I lied swiftly.

_Thank you, _Ron mouthed at me. _No problem, _I mouthed back.

"Detention. Ever Saturday this month. Report to my office, 6 o'clock, understood?" He didn't give us a chance to answer before he swept off to the Slytherin's table to check their potions.

-------------------------------------

After Potions, Harry said he had to go to Quidditch practice. Ron and I were heading back to the Common Room to start on our 3-foot Potions essay that Snape had assigned.

On the way up, we ran into Ginny.

"Hey Gin." I said, kindly. I was just hoping she was in a better mood than last time. _Maybe it was just a PMS moment, _I told myself silently.

"Hey Hermione, hey Ron. Where's Harry?" Ginny said politely.

"Quidditch." Ron stated.

"Oh. Hermione? Listen, about earlier. I uh… I just kinda… I was just having a weird moment earlier. Could you, you know, forgive and forget? I don't know what got into me. I'm sorry. And would you still be willing to help me with Dean?" She said, looking truly apologetic.

"Sure. Do you want to talk about anything?" I asked, just to make sure she was actually fine.

"No, I'm fine, really. I was having cramps so I was in a foul mood. I'm sorry I took it out on you." She said. She wasn't looking me in the eye, but instead, staring at my sleeves as if they hid a great mystery.

"What?" I asked uncertainly. I glanced down at my sleeves to make sure that there were no blood stains from earlier.

"Oh nothing. I'll see you guys later." She said innocently, before wandering off in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Well. That was weird." Ron said, breaking the silence as we continued on our way to the Common Room.

"Yeah." I laughed nervously. It was awkward now with Ron, after having such a personal conversation.

"You- you don't regret still being my friend now, do you? Now that you know about… about my _problem_?" I asked him uncertainly.

"No! Definetly not!" He practically yelled.

"Oh. Good. I was just making sure." I said quietly.

"Listen. Hermione, I don't think you should help Ginny with Dean. I mean, a little advice here and there, but not full-on tutoring like you did with Harry. She can deal with it. And I'll be more than glad to tell her for you."

"I guess so. If you wouldn't mind talking to her, that'd be so great. Thank you." I said, touched that he would do that.

"Sure I will. I'll talk to her tonight."

"Thanks," I said, reaching up and kissing his cheek. "I think I'm going to the library. See you later." I said, before walking off, leaving him shocked, with a goofy grin on his face.

I smiled to myself. I really did like having Ron know. There is no one I'd rather have find out about my problem than Ron. He was so sweet when he found out.

I liked having someone to share this secret with.

A/N: Hey readers! Thanks for sticking with me up to this point. I wrote this all in about one day. Also, I'd like to say that I know Ginny is acting weird; it's all part of the plan and it is highly relevant that you remember how she's acting because it'll be important later. A review would be so much appreciated, so if you could review that'd be so great! Also, I'm going to type up a quick One-Shot, missing DH moment for Ron and Hermione, if any of you want to read it, that'd be great! I don't know when it'll be out, but it should be soon. Also, I know Ron might be a little out of character, but I'm not very good at writing him, but I try my best. If you find any American sayings or whatever, please ignore them; I'm American and I'm trying my best to write it properly, but I can only do so much! Thanks to all who have favorited, alerted or reviewed this story, it means sooo much to me! The next chapter should be up in a week probably. I haven't gotten it planned out, so I need to do that, then I'll start work on it ASAP.


	7. You Just Had To Bring Me Down

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 7: You Just Had To Bring Me Down

A/N: Alright, I hope ya'll liked the last chap!

This time, I still don't have any dedication requests, so I'm gonna dedicate this chap to all my _absolutely fabulous _reviewers: **LoveIsABattle, Deadghost, love-princess 1, akaccino, RH4L, ****Kokoro Onee chan, **and **tazzie21, **you guys are all great! Also, I'd like to thank everyone who has favorited/alerted this story: **Kokoro Onee chan, love-princess 1, tazzie21, Adinyne, D.A. Gray, LoveIsABattle, One Evil Girl, RH4L, Sculder the Goblin Queen, **and** luvfremmioneff, WannaBeOnBroadway, Janewaygirl,** your support means so much to me! I send virtual cookies to all of you (if you don't like cookies, review and tell me what you do like and I'll add that in the next chap!) And I'd also like to thank my silent readers, who may not favorite/alert/review but read anyway- you guys are awesome too!

And as I've forgot to say in previous chapters, I am NOT meaning to glamorize self-harm. If you're even _considering _starting, don't. I sound like a hypocrite but really, it doesn't help and it will ruin your life. Feel free to Private Message me anytime if you want to talk.

Also, y'all might want to note that this chapter is where things get confusing, people start getting sneaky, and the plot thickens. It's like the introductory to a deeper story, but no plot-turns happen, it's just introducing these things, ya know what I mean? So don't expect anything too boat-shaking but the info is relevant. (Does anyone else notice how incredible long my author's notes are? Seriously though… it's all important.)

WARNING: This chapter contains the words Whore, Slut, and someone being interrupted saying Skank (is that an American term?). I don't mean to offend anyone here. There's also mentions of 'threesomes'. I just wanted to make it clear that I don't meant to offend anyone, but feel free to flame me if you feel the desire to.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. The character's are JKR's and the song it Paramore's.

_I am outside  
And I've been waiting for the sun.  
With my wide eyes,  
I've seen worlds that don't belong._

My mouth is dry,  
With words I cannot verbalize.  
Tell me why,  
We live like this.

Keep me safe inside.  
Your arms like towers,  
Tower over me, yeah.

'Cause we are broken.  
What must we do to restore,  
Our innocence,  
And all the promise we adored?  
Give us life again,  
Cause we just wanna be whole.

Lock the doors,  
'Cause I'd like to capture this voice.  
It came to me tonight,  
So everyone will have a choice.

And under _red lights,  
I'll show myself it wasn't forged.  
We're at war,  
We live like this..._

Tower over me... (Ahh...)  
Tower over me... (Ahh...)  
And I'll take the truth at any cost.

'Cause we are broken.  
What must we do to restore,  
Our innocence,  
And all the promise we adored?  
Give us life again,  
'Cause we just wanna be whole

We Are Broken--- Paramore

I had thought from the very beginning that having someone find out about my self-harm would ruin everything… I never thought it could save me. It's like I've been living in a bubble for the last 4 days, ever since Ron found out. We've been practically inseparable ever since. He's always with me, but not the way Terry was. Terry was pushy, annoying and over-bearing. Ron is… he's helpful, caring and sweet. Everything I've ever wanted.

I can almost not believe how great he's been. I keep thinking it's a dream; I'll wake up and he won't know anything.

Even my grades are at the best they've been this year; not perfect, but they're getting closer with each passing day. Ron made it possible for me to relax; he told Ginny to give me some space and she did. To tell you the truth, I kind of miss Ginny. We used to talk so much and now… now she treats me like some charity case. She's always careful around me, always sugar-coating everything. Now, you may think this is a good thing, but having someone always asking you how you're doing and hovering over your shoulder is not fun, let me tell you.

I don't know what's wrong with her. I've seen her sneaking off several times, late at night and really early in the morning. Personally, I'm hoping she's met a guy and just doesn't want any of us to know, but my gut feeling is telling me it's something bad. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, who knows?

"Miss Granger. If you'd care to stop daydreaming, would you so gracefully answer my question?" Professor Snape rudely interrupted my thoughts.

Just as I was going to admit defeat and ask him what the question was, Harry leaned over and whispered in my ear, "He asked you what the potion should do after it stops boiling."

I threw a smile his way before answering proudly, "It should turn a faded gray color and begin smelling of sea salt."

"Mm." Snape said, not pleased that I had gotten it right… again. Ron smiled at me fondly. He and Harry were both proud of me for focusing on my studies again, but especially Ron since he knows what I'm going through.

-------------------------------------

After Potions, Harry, Ron and I were heading down to lunch when we heard Draco Malfoy. "I know. Such a slut." He says, wrapping one arm around Pansy's shoulders and the other around Holly's waist.

He threw me a glance, smirking. Where they talking about me? "I bet they have threesomes all the time." Malfoy grins maliciously, his hand slipping down to Holly's arse.

Ron and Harry were listening closely also, and I could tell they wouldn't contain their tempers much longer.

"A threesome. Mm. That's a great idea, Draco." Holly said, raising an eyebrow suggestively at him whilst reaching around, grabbing his wrist and slipping it down just far enough so he has access to the bottom of her rolled-up skirt. He took full advantage of this by shoving his hand violently up her skirt as she giggled. Pansy was completely oblivious to everything going on. I felt dirty even watching them.

_Whore, _I thought rudely. _Both of them, _I added, when I noticed Pansy's mouth whispering something -no doubt suggestive- in Draco's ear.

"That, I must say, is a brilliant idea, Holly. But back to what I was saying. Granger. Yes, I took the pleasure of putting a particularly nasty hex on her just the other week. She is quite the little skan-" But Draco never finished saying just what I was, for Ron and Harry both came unglued.

"You-" Ron began, raising his fist menacingly, whilst cussing him out very explicitly.

"What did you do to her?" Harry demanded, grabbing Ron's shoulders to refrain from him punching Draco.

"That would be my business, wouldn't it Potter?"

"Come on guys." I said, grabbing Harry and Ron's arms and yanking them off down the hallways.

-------------------------------------

Once we got down to the Great Hall and started eating, Harry turned to me and said, "you never told us that Malfoy hexed you."

"To tell you the truth, I didn't know he had. I mean, he's probably just boasting. No wait! Now that I think about it, back about a month ago I had found him wondering into the library. You two know as well as I do that he wouldn't go to the library except to go to the Restricted Section, so I followed him, just to see what he was up to. He got into one aisle and I was still following him. I thought he hadn't seen me, but he obviously had because he abruptly turned around and pointed his wand at me. He asked me what I was doing, and I said nothing and started leaving.

"I remember feeling a burst of pain go into my back as I was heading out of the aisle. I looked back, but he was doing anything. I figured it was just a momentary thing. It happened a few more times the next two days, but hasn't since then. Do either of you know what that could be?"

"Oh no. I've heard of something like that." Ron said, looking extremely grave.

"Wh- what is it?" I stuttered, almost scared to find out.

"It's… it's an extremely Dark curse. Only Death Eaters use it now. He must have been looking for something secret, he saw you and decided to curse you to get revenge on you for… almost finding out what he was hiding." Ron said thoughtfully.

"Yes, that's most likely it, but _what does the curse do_?" I said, losing patience.

"Er… the thing is, it doesn't subside." Ron said, reluctant to tell me this.

"And just what is that supposed to mean? _What does the curse do?!" _I demanded.

"It… it causes this unbelievable pain to shoot up your spinal cord and it never stops happening. It happens about once a month usually… well, it can only be put on girls and, er, it only comes once a month." He murmured, blushing.

"What time of month?" I asked, as if I didn't already know what he was talking about. I just enjoyed seeing him blush.

"Yeah, erm… during your," he gestured loosely at me as he said this. "Monthly… time."

I smiled at Harry, who was laughing, before turning back to Ron. "And this never goes away? Ever?" I asked, desperately wanting him to say it wouldn't happen again.

"Er. No it doesn't. It gets worse over time. It's only once a month so…." He trailed into silence.

"Only once a month? _Only?" _I laughed sarcastically. _Well this is just bloody great! _

"…I'm sorry." He said, shrugging guiltily.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered sadly. "I mean, it's not like I have any other problems going on do I?" I laughed sarcastically. "I can just picture everyone saying '_oh hey, Granger doesn't have enough crap in her life, let's make it worse!'" _I laughed humorlessly. "Damnit!" I said, outraged.

Ron and Harry sat in shocked silence. I don't swear, _ever, _but I was royally angry now and there wasn't a bloody thing they could do!

"Listen, Hermione. Maybe we could talk to Dumble-" Harry began.

"I don't want to hear it." I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder and walking out, ignoring my stomach growling from hunger.

"Hermione!" It was Ron, of course. He had followed me out and onto the marble staircase.

"I said, I did not want to talk." I said through gritted teeth. He was great sometimes, but other times… _ugh! _

"Listen, Hermione. I know you probably don't want to hear this right now but-" He began, before I cut him off.

"Darn right I don't want to hear it! Now get out of my way, we'll talk later." I said, trying to shove past him.

"No, Hermione! We have to talk now." Ron said, grabbing my arm and beginning to pull me up the staircase, towards Gryffindor tower.

Once we got into the Common Room, with much protesting from me, he looked at me before heaving a tremendous sigh.

"What?" I snarl.

"It's just… Hermione. You-you have to… to tell Harry." He said quietly.

"What are you talking about? Harry was there! He knows about it!" I said, thinking he was referring to the jinx Malfoy had put over me.

"No, not about that. About… about your… you know, your problem." He said, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.

"What probl- oh." I said, realizing what he meant. "No. I'm not doing it, he doesn't need to know." I said stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Hermione. He does needs to know." Ron stated, just as stubbornly.

"No, he doesn't. He'll blame himself. I'm not telling him. It's my choice and I choose not to. End of discussion." I said, standing up with the plan of walking away but Ron was a step ahead of me.

"Come _on _Hermione! Just listen to what I have to say!" He pleaded, latching onto my arm and dragging me back to the chair I had previously been sitting in, so I didn't have much choice on whether I wanted to listen or not.

"No." I said, even though I knew that I had no choice but to listen now. "You can't make me, and I don't want to." I may have been being rude and childish, but for once, I didn't care.

"He needs to know. You're one of his best friends, he deserves to know." Ron said, kneeling in front of me.

"I don't care! He's not going to find out, not from me at least!"

"Fine. If you don't tell him within two weeks, I will." He stated simply.

"You… you wouldn't." I said, gasping.

"I would. You know I would. Harry needs to know and I'm going to make sure he finds out one way or another."

"…I trusted you." I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.

"I know. But Hermione he deserves to know." Ron said helplessly.

"I trusted you! I trusted you with the biggest secret in my life and what do you do?! You go running off to tell Harry!" I cry shrilly, standing up.

"Hermi-" Ron began, standing up too.

"Fine. I believe you will tell him, but I need longer than 2 weeks. Make it a month."

"No. 3 weeks."

"No. One month." I state stubbornly, placing my hands on my hips.

"…Fine. If that's how it's gotta be."

"That's how it's got to be." I said.

"This-this isn't going to change things with us, is it?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, I guess not." I sighed. "I just need time to think." I whispered, before walking slowly over to the girl's staircase.

-------------------------------------

I didn't go all the way up to my room, I stopped at the floor below, where the 4th year girls were. I knew Ginny had come up here earlier and I needed a girl to talk to and Ginny was just the person I needed.

"Gin." I said, knocking softly.

"Oh, hey Hermione." Ginny said, opening the door.

"Can-can I talk to you a bit?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Absolutely. Come right in." Ginny said, looking a little afraid.

"Here's the thing, Ron and I… well we were getting along really well but we just… well he was just pressuring me to do something I don't want to do." I said, not quite sure how to put it.

"Oh. Well that's not so good." Ginny said. She sounded distracted so I asked her what was wrong.

"It's nothing. I've got to go meet a friend, could you talk to Harry about this?" She asked, sounding sincerely sorry.

_No, I really couldn't talk to Harry about this_ I thought, but aloud I said "Sure, go ahead and meet your friend."

"Thanks, Hermione!" She jumped up, excitedly.

"No problem… it's not like it was an actual problem." I muttered once she had left. _I don't know what's going on with Gin, but something's changing, _I thought to myself.

_And I don't like it. _

A/N: holy cow, did that take a long time for me to get out or what??? I'm soooooooooo incredibly sorry it took that long! I've been so busy and I was getting so stressed out and I really didn't know where this chap was going. I'm not proud of this chap, in fact I don't think I like it very much at all but I'm putting it out anyway. Constructive criticism is welcome, as are flames if you feel like flaming me. The next chapter should be out… faster than this one was, but don't expect it before a week or two. This chapter wasn't meant to be interesting, it was introducing some new stuff so stick with me, please!

Let me know what you though!

Replies to reviews:

**UnconventionalBeauty: **I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!

**tazzie21: **Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked it; it was probably my fave chap to write. Thanks for the feed-back, it is much appreciated!

**akaccino: **No need to thank me, you're the one leaving the awesome reviews! Yeah, Evanescence does rock so much. It really would be great if every girl had a guy like Ron, wouldn't it? –Sigh- too bad he's not real. (I'm obsessed too!) I'm glad you think Hermione's in-character now; I had a hard time getting a good grip on her character but I got better at it in the last chap (at least in my opinion I did). Sorry, can't tell ya what's going on with Ginny, but you'll find out soon enough (not in this chap though, sorry). I didn't know Rupert's favorite animal was a camel, thanks for telling me that. I'm glad you liked it.

**Kokoro Onee chan: **Thanks. I definitely agree with you, it would be better if Ron did tell someone so Hermione can get help, but Ron's not perfect. I had actually originally planned on something like that happening, but it didn't work with the last chapter. Thanks for the input!


	8. I Trusted You But You Betrayed Me

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 8: I Trusted You… But You Betrayed Me

A/N: Hello there lovely readers! Does anyone feel scared 'cause of the chap title? Well you should! Because everyone's _absolutely favorite _character is back! That's right, you guessed it… Terry-freaking-Boot! I know, you're jumping for joy aren't you?

Also, Harry acts like a bitch in this chapter, as does Cho, please ignore that, it's just part of the plot. And I always hated Cho (who else thinks she should hook up with Terry?) and I had to make Harry go along with it, so please excuse that.

Okay, I told everyone no more cliff-hangers. Well, I was mistaken, there's one in this one, MWAHAHA. It's not as big as the last one though so… you'll have to see, won't you?

Replies to reviews:

**WannaBeOnBroadway: **Well I quite enjoyed my cake, so thank you! Really though, you're review made me smile so much (my sis thought I was crazy 'cause she was in the same room as me). I'm so glad you liked it! I now shall give you TWO cookies!

**akaccino**: Yes, Paramore rocks, I agree! I don't think you'll know the song I'm posting on this chap, but you should definetly check 'em out! They're originally German, but have some English songs. I'm glad you liked it, but no, I didn't really like it that much, though I did work hard on it. Ron is so great, definitely. I'd sooo love to have a friend like him (wouldn't we all?) I can't give anything away, but I will say, you are correct Ginny DOES have a BIG DARK SECRET as you correctly put it! Thanks for the review!

**natalie1605**: A new reader! Awesome! I give you cookies –hands out cookies-. I'm so glad you like it and thank you for adding it to your faves, it means a lot to me, really! Thanks for the review, hun!

**tazzi21**: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. No, I don't think 'plotthickening' is a word (at least, my computer says it isn't) but I don't care. Draco is a little man-bitch, isn't he? Thanks for always reviewing, it means so much to me!

**Kokoro Onee chan: **Yep, guess you'll just have to wait, sorry! Thanks for the review!

Disclaimer: It's mine, I tell you! ALL mine! You can't have it –shakes fist in air-. Just kidding, not mine. I don't own Harry Potter or Love Is Dead. HP is by JKR, she rocks, and Love Is Dead is by Tokio Hotel, check 'em out on YouTube 'cause they don't sell English stuff that much- just German –sad face.- (And if y'all haven't noticed yet, I take out a few of the parts so it's shorter. In the song, I mean.)

_I hold your letter in my frozen hand  
the last line was long  
as long as it burns  
my look carries on_

with every word another feeling dies  
I'm left here in the dark  
no memories of you  
I close my eyes  
its killing me

We die when  
love is dead  
its killing me  
we lost a dream we never had  
the world in silence should forever feel alone  
cause we are gone and we will never overcome  
its over now

vultures are waiting for what's left of us  
what can they take_?  
it all is not worth_

_if we lose our trust  
there coming closer  
want you and me  
I can feel their claws  
let me go now  
try to break free  
_

_its killing me  
__  
We die when  
love is dead  
its killing me  
we lost a dream we never had  
the world in silence should forever feel alone  
cause we are gone and we will never overcome  
its over now  
_

_Vultures are waiting for what's left of us  
taking the last of you  
and the last of me  
its killing me  
_Love Is Dead--- Tokio Hotel

"Don't I know it? I mean, a week of detention for that? Snape's just a bloody basta-"

"Harry! Language!" I exclaim. _Can they not get it into their tiny, little brains that I don't like swearing?_

"Oh Hermione." Cho giggled. "You're so funny." She said, kissing the tip of Harry's nose.

I almost barfed.

"And just _how _was that funny, Cho?" I asked rudely.

"You keep them in line. I just think it's cute is all." She said, twirling pieces of Harry's hair around her fingers.

_Cute? Cute?! Was that an insult? How dare she? Little conniving scarlet woman, I tell you! She's so __**not **__in love with Harry! She just does it for the attention. Nasty little- _My evil thoughts of Cho were cut short when Ron walked up.

He looked pointedly at me, before saying, "Hermione, can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure thing." I muttered. Anything to get away from those two. "Bye guys! So nice talking to you!" I said sarcastically, waving. They didn't even notice I was leaving.

"Hermione." He stated, once we got outside the Great Hall.

"Ron." I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. Somehow, I just _knew _he was going to ask me something I didn't want to answer.

"Have you decided how to tell Harry about your thing yet?" _Am I psychic or what? _

"Maybe. And I'd appreciate it if you could just give it a rest, I will tell him within a month, just like we promised." I said firmly. I was just so tired of him always asking about it. You'd think me telling Harry about my 'problem', as Ron called it, was the most important thing in the world to him… which it probably was.

"Sorry… I was just… I'm just trying to help." He said, sounding like a lost puppy.

"It… it's fine." I sighed. There's just no way I could ever deny him anything when he gives me that 'aren't-I-pitiful?' look.

"Good. I've got to go eat breakfast now. C'mon." He said, grabbing my arm and leading me back into the Great Hall, only to join Harry and Cho (who now sits at the Gryffindor table with her 'wittle Harry-Harry' as she has now dubbed Harry. Does anyone else besides me feel sick when they hear that?)

"How's it going, mate?" Ron asked. Harry was too busy being baby fed by Cho to notice him.

I leaned over, conspiratorially towards Ron to whisper in his ear "don't you just hate her? Why did I help him get with her?"

"Because you're a good person and didn't know she was such a little… well, you-know-what. And yes, I do hate her." He whispered back into my ear, making me smile.

"What are you two whispering about?" Harry asked, wrapping a lazy arm around Cho's slender shoulders.

_Does she even eat? She's so thin! _I thought meanly to myself. I know, I sound just horrible, but if you had to live with Cho hanging around 24/7, you'd have gone crazy too.

"Nothing. We were just talking about Charms homework. Didn't want to 'interrupt' you, right Hermione?" Ron said, nudging my arm.

"That's right." I said, nodding.

"Oh. Well, I'm going to go walk Cho to her Ancient Runes class. See you guys later." He said, picking up both his and Cho's bag and slinging them over his shoulder. Cho giggled and said something about 'her strong, caring hero'.

I gagged after they left.

"She's got him under her spell. I swear to Merlin, she's gonna dump him in the dust when he stops acting like her slave." Ron muttered rudely.

"I know. How can she even be in Ancient Runes? That class takes brains, something she obviously doesn't have!" I exclaimed, meanly.

Ron laughed at that. "Well put." He said, smiling his lop-sided grin at me. "Come on. Let's get to class. We could always tell Snape that Harry's late 'cause he's busy shacking up in the broom closet." Ron sniggered, grabbing his bag and standing up.

"Ron!" I reprimanded, but couldn't help but smile.

-------------------------------------

"Add essence of mir-lap and stir counter-clockwise for 3 minutes." Snape sneered.

"And do you know-" Harry said, pouring an extra ounce of mir-lap into his cauldron. Cho had him so brain washed that I doubt he'd notice if his cauldron blew up right now. "Cho says that if you-" He just could not shut up about her, so both Ron and I ignored him… it's not like he noticed anyway.

"So, when do you think he'll notice we're not listening?" Ron said into my ear so only I could hear.

"Oh I'd say about… never." I whispered back, my lips forming into a grin.

"Agreed." Ron said, after glancing casually at Harry and realizing that he hadn't stopped talking about how soft Cho's hair was.

We both grinned at each other before we heard Snape announcing time was up.

"Oh, Hermione?" Ron asked, leaning over so he could see what color my potion was turning. "Do you think you could help me out with my Transfiguration? I don't get that little wand movement McGonagall was doing that made that canary turn into a fork."

"Sure thing, Ron. I'd probably be helping Harry too but he's gone every night." He grinned when I said this.

"Cho's got him wrapped around her little finger." He said, glancing at Snape before throwing more boom-slang skin into his red potion. "What color is this supposed to be?" He said, glancing at mine again.

"Grass green." I said, smiling.

"Damn." He muttered, so I could barely hear.

"And she says that when you wear purple, it signifies-" Harry was still blabbing away about Cho. Ron and I looked at each other and grinned.

We had both gotten a lot closer in the last few days, since Harry's been busy all the time.

_Life just keeps getting better, _I thought happily to myself.

-------------------------------------

"Hermione!"

_No! _I thought to myself when I heard that voice. _I swore I would never hear that voice again! Why is he calling me? _

"Hermione, wait up!" He was running behind me; I could hear him. What did he want? I sure didn't want to talk to him.

"_Hermione!" _He sounded desperate. _Like I care, _I scoffed to myself.

"Hermione, seriously. Be mature!" He said, catching up to me.

"What do you want?" I asked him, stopping in my tracks.

"I just… I missed you." He said, trying to sound like a lost puppy. _Ron does that so much better than you! _

"Well, I didn't miss you. Go away, Terry." I said, resuming walking briskly away from him.

"No! Hermione! C'mon, just listen. I'm your support, your rock, I can help you like no one can, because I know about your issue when no one else does!" He was following behind me the whole time he was saying this.

_My support? My rock? No, Terry! RON is my support, not you! You're just a nuisance. _

"How do you know I didn't tell someone?" I demand, not stopping.

"Because I know you, Hermione. And I know that you wouldn't tell; you're ashamed!"

_Ashamed? Ashamed! Now he thinks he can tell me how I feel, does he? Well he's got another thing coming! _

"Well, guess what? I did!" I say, quickening my walk.

"You did? Who?" Terry asks, grabbing my arm and leading me into a deserted classroom.

"That is none of your business!" I say, trying to jerk away, with no luck.

"C'mon, Hermione. We're best friends!"

"Best friends? We are _not _best friends! In fact, I don't even _like _you!" I say. Okay, so I may have been being a little harsh, but who can blame me? I just wanted to get my point across.

"That's right. Because you like me as _more _than a best friend." He says smugly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't think that's for you to say." A new voice says this. Both Terry and I whip our heads towards the doorway, where Ron is standing, glowering at Terry.

"C'mon Hermione, let's go." Terry says, as if I'd ever follow him over Ron.

"I don't think she wants to go with you." Ron growls in a dangerously low voice.

"No, I don't. Let's go Ron, we have studying to do." I say, walking towards Ron.

"Like that bastard could pass a single subject." Terry quips, rudely.

"_Excuse me?" _I ask, whipping around.

"Everyone in this school knows his grades are-" Terry began, but I cut him off. "His grades are perfectly fine so I suggest you get your nose out of our business before it gets cut off!" I almost shout, before grabbing Ron's arm and dragging him down the hall towards thee Fat Lady.

"Hermione, what were you doing in there with him? You told me you stopped talking to him; you lied!" Ron exclaimed angrily, turning to me.

"What? No! Ron, he followed me but I ignored him then he was saying how he was my rock, my support," Ron's face got darker as I said this. "But I told him to back off and he didn't know anything. Then you walked in. How did you know we were in there, by the way?"

"Heard some yelling and I thought I'd investigate. So nothing happened?" He asked suspiciously.

"No, nothing happened. Now, let's go work on Potions homework before we have to go to Charms. We can do Transfiguration tonight, alright?" I say, smiling at him.

"Sure. Let's go." He smiled back.

-------------------------------------

Ron and I worked on our Potions essays for a while, before heading to Charms.

"Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, where is Mr. Potter?" Flitwick asked us in his squeaky voice.

"We don't know sir." Ron replied.

"You don't know?" Flitwick asked, as if it were some miracle that we didn't follow him around 24/7.

"No, we don't." I answered. Everyone else was smiling; they all knew where Harry was: off snogging Cho. Every student in Hogwarts knew they were a thing now, even some of the teachers knew. Flitwick obviously didn't know.

"Well, have him see me after dinner." Flitwick said. "Now, open your books to page 342 and follow my lead." He said, drawing out his wand, beginning to make swishing movements.

-------------------------------------

"Come on, we better go find Harry and tell him he's got to see Flitwick later." Ron said, as we walked down towards dinner. Both Ron and I knew that Harry probably wouldn't be there but we had to try.

"Yeah. If he's not there, we can get one of Cho's friends to check Ravenclaw tower." I said, quickening my pace. Harry was supposed to meet Flitwick in half and hour.

Of course, when we got to the Great Hall, Harry wasn't there.

"Hey, Ginny, have you seen Harry?" Ron asked his younger sister, who had been chatting with her friends.

"Wha- oh, no Ron I haven't. Oh, hi Hermione. How're you doing?" She asked suspiciously, staring at me.

"I'm, erm, just fine, thank you." I said nervously. She was staring at my left arm again. She's been doing that a lot lately, as if trying to burn the fabric off my arm. Her behavior is really scaring me.

"Let's go. We'll find one of Cho's friends." Ron said, noticing Ginny's awkward behavior.

After we started heading over to the Ravenclaw table, I turned to Ron. "Do you know why she's acting so weird? Ginny, I mean."

"No, not at all. She was staring at your arm though. You don't think someone told her…?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Who would have? Only you know. And Terry, but Ginny wouldn't talk to him. She's smarter than that."

"I hope you're right." Ron muttered. "You're friends with Cho aren't you?" Ron asked, turning to a blonde girl whose name is Kathie, I think.

"Yes." She said, not looking at us.

"Do you know where she is?" I asked.

"No." She said bluntly, still not looking at us.

"Could you check the Ravenclaw tower for us?" Ron asked, getting frustrated.

"No." She said. _Rude much? _

"Why not?" I ask, sharing an annoyed look with Ron.

"Eating." She said, pulling a book out of her bag, signaling the end of the conversation.

"Fine." I exhaled loudly. "Let's go Ron." I said, grabbing his arm and started walking out of the Hall.

"Why don't we ask Fred and George?" Ron asked, stopping on the marble staircase.

"How would they know? They're not Ravenclaws." I asked.

"'Cause they might know the password. You know them." Ron said, resuming walking.

"Yeah, good idea. Where would they be?"

"Common Room probably." Ron said.

"Oh… aren't you just sick of this?" I ask Ron.

"Sick of what?" He asked, turning his head to look at me.

"This," I said, waving an arm around. "Looking for Harry. We used to be… I don't know, a team. Now he's with Cho and he's ignoring us. Ron, we're losing our best friend." I said hopelessly.

"Of course I'm sick of it, but he'll come 'round. And when he's done, we'll still be there." Ron said, loyal to the end.

"Yes but… don't you think he's kind of… walking all over us?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's just a phase, Hermione. He'll get over it." Ron said trustingly.

"…Okay." I said resignedly. "Let's go find Fred and George."

"Right." Ron said, as we headed towards the Common Room.

-------------------------------------

"Fred! George! Come here!" Ron called out, beckoning the twins over from where they were talking animatedly to Lee Jordan.

"And what might we do for you two lovers today?" George asked, oh-so-casually. Both Ron and I blushed deeply.

"Moron." Ron muttered.

"Well, do you happen to know what the password for Ravenclaw Tower is?" I asked, since Ron wasn't saying anything.

"Maybe we do. And why would you need in?" Fred asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We're looking for-" I began, but the twins cut me off.

"Harry." They said together.

"Yes, yes. I should have guessed." George said, smiling.

"I think we're losing our touch George." Fred said lightly.

"Oh, enough you two! Do you know it or not?" I said. Whether I admitted it aloud or not, I had always had a soft spot for the twins. But I was _not _telling them that!

"Yeah, it's Gibberson." They said at the same time.

"Gibberson? Like the famous wizard?" I asked, intrigued.

"I dunno. Prob'ly." Said Fred, before the pair turned and walked back towards Lee.

"Let's go, before Harry's late." Ron says, and we both walk out of the tower.

-------------------------------------

"I am so hungry." Ron complained, as we began walking towards the Ravenclaw Common Room.

"Ron," I said, stopping abruptly. "Why don't you go to dinner? I can go find Harry by myself, it's no big deal." I said.

"But you don't have to-" He began.

"I know I don't have to, but really, I don't mind." I stated firmly.

"Alright… if you're sure you don't mind?" Ron said hesitantly.

"No, I don't. Now, go!" I said, laughing a bit.

"Thanks." He said simply, before trotting off down the corridor towards the Great Hall.

"_You talked to her?! I can't believe you! You know she doesn't like you at all! You made her ten times worse!" _I heard a female yelling from inside a closed door

_Funny, that voice sounds oddly familiar, _I thought to myself.

"_How would you know a bloody thing? I was the one that told you! You weren't even aware she did it until I told you! You know __**nothing**__!" _It was a different voice this time, a male voice. One that I definitely knew.

_No. Not him, not now. _I thought hopelessly to myself. _That means he might have told someone! Well, maybe not. Maybe they're fighting over someone else. He swore he wouldn't tell! _

I decided to go investigate for myself. I opened the door to find Ginny. And Terry.

Both looked livid with anger, standing on opposite sides of the rooms, yelling at each other.

"Yeah well I seriously doubt you're even telling the truth! I bet you're making it all up to come between us! You're just that much of a bastard!" Ginny cried, before noticing I was there. "Oh. Hi Hermione." She said, blushing.

"Well. I think I'll see you later Ginny." Terry said, not even glancing at me before walking out.

"Well, I guess I'll just see you later." Ginny said quickly, before making a break towards the door.

"Oh no! Why the hell were you with him?" I demanded, slamming the door and standing in front of it so she couldn't get out.

"I- he's my friend!" Ginny said, becoming defensive.

"Didn't sound like it! Ginny, he's horrible. You don't want to be friends with him." I said firmly, raising my voice a bit.

"I will be friends with whomever the hell I want! You need to butt out! You're getting just as bad as Ron!" Ginny screamed, her hair flying everywhere.

"Oh no you don't! Ron has done nothing wrong! He just cares about you! Maybe he and I are just trying to make sure you don't get into bone headed situations, like this one!" I yelled right back. No one got away with insulting Ron in front of me.

"It's MY life, MY choices, MY friends! Not yours, Hermione! I will do whatever I want, I will be friends with whoever I want, I will choose whatever I want! It's MY life, damnit!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

"You shouldn't be friends with him! He's a bad influence!" I yelled back.

"BULLSHIT!" She screamed, her eyes getting a possessed look.

"DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT WORD AROUND ME, GINERVA WEALEY!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I never tried to deny it, I'm sensitive to swearing.

"I WILL USE IT WHEN I WANT TO! AND YOU'RE JUST WORRIED TERRY WILL TELL YOUR _SECRET!" _

A/N: Whew! That was a long one, huh?

I'm so mean. I love it! I loved writing this one- it was so much fun writing Hermione and Ron get _closer_, haha! I give all my amazingly fabulous reviewers pudding, 'cause, hey, who doesn't like pudding? So review and I'll give you something next chap, okay? The next chap should be out in about 2 weeks or so. Not too long of a wait but maybe longer than the other waits, sorry 'bout that but I'm just getting swamped with crap. Review review, loves!


	9. Best Friends? Not Anymore

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 9: Best Friends? Not Anymore

A/N: Hi everyone! So, I bet y'all are wondering what's up with Ginny and Terry, huh? Well you'll have to wait to find out! Sorry it's taking me this long to update but my laptop completely crashed and I had to get a new one and, whew, was it a lot of crap. And I've been really busy.

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. The plot line's mine, the song's not mine and neither is Harry Potter (or Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley… sad, I know.)

Wow, that was short… for me anyways. Onward with the chap! Enjoy and review please! Oh and just a heads-up: anybody who's a Ron/Hermione shipper will be _very _happy with this chap, I promise, hehe!

**Recap of what happened last chapter: **

"And do you know-" Harry said, pouring an extra ounce of mir-lap into his cauldron. Cho had him so brain washed that I doubt he'd notice if his cauldron blew up right now.

"I just… I missed you." He said, trying to sound like a lost puppy. _Ron does that so much better than you! _ "Well, I didn't miss you. Go away, Terry." I said, resuming walking briskly away from him.

"Do you know why she's acting so weird? Ginny, I mean." "No, not at all. She was staring at your arm though. You don't think someone told her…?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"AND YOU'RE JUST WORRIED TERRY WILL TELL YOUR _SECRET!" _Ginny yelled at the top of her lungs.

_Here I stand  
Empty hands  
Wishing my wrists were bleeding  
To stop the pain from the beatings_

There you stood  
_Holding me  
Waiting for me to notice you  
_

_But who are you  
You are the truth (you are the truth)  
Outscreaming these lies  
You are the truth (you are the truth)  
Saving my life_

The warmth of your embrace  
Melts my frostbitten spirit  
You speak the truth and I hear it  
The words are I love you  
And I have to_ believe in you_

My hands are open  
And you are filling them   
Hands in the air  
In the air, in the air, in the air

And I worship  
And I worship  
And I worship  
And I worship

You are the truth (you are the truth)  
Outscreaming these lies  
You are the truth (you are the truth)  
Saving my life

Red Sam--- Flyleaf

"What did you just say?" I asked weakly,

"You heard me!" Ginny said, still shouting slightly, before running out of the room.

I stood there for a few seconds in shocked silence, before walking out of the classroom and down the hall, in a trance.

_I need to find Ron. Ron will know what to do, _I thought frantically to myself, completely forgetting about telling Harry about Flitwick.

-------------------------------------

After I got into the Great Hall, it was easy to find Ron, with his bright red hair, it was actually hard to miss him.

"Ron!" I said urgently, latching onto his arm with desperation.

"What? What is it?" He said, quickly putting down his fork and turning to me.

"It's-it's Ginny. And… Ginny and Terry." I said slowly.

"What? No, no, you can't be right. She wouldn't talk to him… she wouldn't." Ron said disbelievingly.

"Well she did! Right after you left, I found them arguing. About… about _me." _I said, muttering the last bit.

"About you? What on earth about?" Ron asked, taking my hand from his arm and clasping it supportively.

"About my… my, _you know. _I think Terry told her. I walked in and they saw me and Terry left and I told Ginny she shouldn't be hanging out with him then she got offended and started yelling so then I started yelling too and then she said 'you're just worried he'll tell your secret' or something of the sorts and then she left! I just… what's wrong Ron? Everything's so screwed up!" I sighed loudly, pulling my hand away from Ron and laying my head on the table, my arms circling around it.

"Oh… wow." Ron said.

"Wow? Wow?! Is that all you can say after you find out your sister knows and possibly _the entire school _might know! If he can tell Gin, he can sure tell everyone else! Terry is out to _ruin _me, if you haven't noticed!" I exclaimed, still laying my head on the table. I know I shouldn't be taking my anger out on Ron but I couldn't help it.

"Of course I know that! I knew it all along, that's why I told you to stay away from him!" Ron said, getting angrier.

"Oh, you just _have _to say I-told-you-so, don't you? Don't you think I'm dealing with enough crap without you riding me about Terry! I expected this from everyone else, but not you Ron." I said, standing up and slinging my bag over my shoulder, preparing to leave.

"No, Hermione!" Ron said jumping up too. People were beginning to stare, so he said "listen, why don't we head to the Room Of Requirements and talk there okay?"

"Fine." I said shortly, grabbing his elbow and marching him out of the Hall.

Once we got to the Room Of Requirements (which turned into a smaller replica of the Gryffindor Common Room) and we both got seated on the seat, I turned to Ron and said "okay. We've got a lot to figure out."

"Yeah I know." Ron sighed. "This is just so screwed up. This would have been so much easier if-"

"If I had never started hurting myself?" I cut him off, raising my eyebrow.

"N-no. I-I didn't mean that Hermione." Ron said, reaching out to take my hand.

"Yes you did!" I cried, feeling a few tears gather in my eyes.

"No, Hermione. I-I really didn't. I just meant… it'd be so much easier if Terry wasn't such a dick." Ron said, moving over so he was sitting right beside me.

"Ron!" I reprimanded, but couldn't help but laugh at his choice of words.

"C'mon, you know it's true." He said, grinning at me.

"Yeah I know." I said, turning my head so I was only a few inches away from him.

"Hermione." Ron breathed, moving slightly closer to me.

"Yes Ron?" I asked, moving closer also.

"I think we should talk about our… situation." He whispered, referring to the thing with Terry and Ginny, but he didn't stop moving closer.

"I agree." I whispered, but didn't move away.

"Yeah" Ron said so quietly I could barely hear him, before closing the gap between our lips.

I could feel one of his hands intertwine in my hair and the other one went to the side of my face, cradling it softly. My hands both went behind his neck instinctively, pulling him even closer.

I had suspected for a while that Ron was the one, but in that moment, I _knew _he was the one and I didn't doubt it for one second.

But that only lasted until he pulled away, both of us blushing seriously. "I- let's get back to thinking about what to do." He said, moving away.

"Right, yeah." I said, without looking at him.

"So uh… do you think Ginny knows?" Ron asked, not looking me in the eye.

"Obviously. I mean what other _secret _do I have that Terry knows? None. Well I mean, the fight we had is kind of a secret but why would he tell Gin about that?" I said, confusedly.

"I dunno. What did happen though?" Ron asked, turning to me but still not looking me in the eye.

"I… uh… he was just doing things that made me uncomfortable." I said, blushing a little.

"Like what?" Ron asked, this time looking me in the eye.

"Um… like putting his arm around me- and not in a just-friends kind of way- and calling me nick names that I didn't like and stuff so I yelled him and told him to go away, I didn't need his help, and he got mad and said that he was only trying to help and I said I never asked for help and to go away. So he did." I said, in one long breath.

"That bastard." Ron said, more to himself than to me.

"Ron!" I exclaimed.

"What? Hermione he is, don't deny it!" Ron said.

"I know he is but _I don't like swearing!" _I said, losing patience.

"Oh. Right, sorry." Ron said, turning away from me.

"We need to figure out what to do… do you think I should talk to Ginny?" I asked, trying to catch his eye again.

"Not by yourself! If you are gonna talk to her, I'll be there." He promised, looking at me again.

"Thank you, Ron." I said, touched. "But what should we do? For all we know half the school could know by now!" I said hysterically.

"I don't know. This is just so screwed up!" He exclaimed.

"Tell me about it." I muttered. "But we have to do _something! _Ginny's mad at me one second and the next, she's babying me like a four-year-old! It can't stay like this!" I said. By this time, I was longing to be able to cut again, but I couldn't as long as Ron was there. "Listen, I have to go to the bathroom but I'll be back in a second, okay?" I said, beginning to stand up.

"Don't lie, Hermione." Ron said softly.

"What?" I said sharply, turning around to face him again.

"You don't have to go to the bathroom." He said, looking me directly in the eye.

"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered.

"You know what I mean. If you just had to go to the bathroom, you wouldn't be bringing your bag." He said, gesturing towards my bag slung over my shoulder.

"I- fine. I don't have to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to do it here… in front of you." I said, giving in.

"It's okay. You could just ask me to look away." Ron offered.

"It's not that I mind you watching… it's just that… I thought you wouldn't want to see." I whispered, blushing.

"No. I've kind of… actually wanted to ask you… how you did it? If you don't mind." He said slowly, looking away from me.

"Of course I don't mind." I said, shocked that he cared so much. "Do you… want to watch?" I asked, uncomfortably.

"I… if you don't mind." Ron said, not meeting my eyes.

"No, no I don't mind." I said, setting my bag back down. I reached into it until I found the ripped seam then pulled it out.

"Where do you keep it in there?" Ron said, looking at my bag.

"Right here." I said, bringing the bag towards him then showing him the ripped seam.

"Did you do that yourself?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Now, uh, I just… you know." I said, gesturing between my razor and my right arm.

"Um yeah okay." Ron said, watching my hand that was holding the razor.

"Just… just turn away if you want. I'll understand." I said, softly.

"O-okay." Ron stuttered, still staring at my razor.

I pulled my sleeve up and slowly moved the razor so it was lightly resting on my arm, before pushing down and dragging it across. I let out a slight whimper when I felt the pain shoot through my skin, but it was from pleasure, not regret.

"You okay?" Ron asked, sounding nervous.

"Fine." I said, not looking at him, but instead, pulling the razor across my arm again.

I did it 4 more times, before siphoning the blood off with my wand and tucking my razor safely away in my bag.

"Right. And that's how it goes." I said, sitting down next to Ron.

"Um yeah okay…" He said, looking at my arm for a second before I pulled my sleeve down.

"Okay, so, what do we do about Ginny?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck absentmindedly.

"I, er, dunno. We could talk to her… but then again, this is Ginny. She doesn't just sit down and talk about everything, she likes to take action." Ron explained.

"Yes I agree. So sitting down and talking won't work. But what we need to figure out is Terry. What are his motives? Why Ginny, why not Harry? Does he intend to tell the school? Is he just worried about me or is it something else? Did he actually tell her or did he just say I had a big secret?" I asked, glancing at Ron.

"I dunno." Ron said, shrugging.

"I know you don't, but we need to figure it out. I'm guessing he told her the secret because that would explain why she keeps staring at my left arm. I'm also guessing by the way he acts that he's got some ulterior motive, not trying to help me, though that may have been his reason in the beginning. Maybe he's upset about the way I treated him so he's getting revenge by attempting to ruin my friendship with Ginny or he might be trying to ruin my reputation. That's up for debate. What I need to know is _why _and _who _he's going to tell next, because, mark my words, he will tell someone else. This is far from over." I said, more to myself than to Ron.

"Erm… right. I agree… about him trying to ruin you because of how you fought with him. He can't be worried about you, he wouldn't be acting this way if he was." Ron stated, unsurely.

"Okay so… plan of action?" I asked, hoping he would have thought of something.

"Let's talk to Harry." Ron said, not meeting my eyes.

"Ron! I don't want to tell Harry!" I exclaimed. _I thought we got over that, _I thought to myself.

"C'mon Hermione! You know as well as I do that he could help!" Ron argued.

"You know what? Fine. Fine, we'll tell Harry. But he can't solve everything." I said, standing up to begin to leave.

"Alright. Better get it over with." Ron said, standing up also.

"Wait, what? I didn't say I was doing it today." I said, shaking my head worriedly.

"Hermione, the sooner the better." Ron said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Fine, fine. I guess you're right." I sighed, walking resignedly towards the exit. "Let's get this over with. You're coming right?" I asked him.

"I'll be there every step." Ron said, taking my hand supportively.

We both headed resolutely out of the Room Of Requirements.

_Time for my secret to come out. _

Replies to reviews:

**butterfly100: **Thanks, I'm glad you like it. And thanks for taking time to review!

**WanneBeOnBroadway**: Yeah, glad you liked your cookies. I'll definitely check out Everything Burns, thanks for the suggestion!

**Kokoro Onee Chan: **No actually you're right. Good job on picking that up. She still feels the need on occasion but Ron is helping her cope much better, but it'll only get worse, what with Ginny and Terry. Thanks for always reviewing!

**tazzie21**: Yes, I just loved writing those parts, it was so much fun so I'm glad you liked it. I would read your Artemis Fowl fic but I've only read a little bit of the 1st book, sorry. But thanks, I'm glad you think I do that well, I try hard to make it all interesting. Thanks for always giving good feedback!

**akaccino: **Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Terry is an arse isn't he? I seriously, seriously wanted to have him taken away from Hogwarts for mental problems but that wouldn't tie in with the rest of the story. Thanks for always reviewing!

A/N: Oh dear! They're telling Harry! What will he think? Will he tell? _Will it ruin they're friendship?! _Yeah, yeah, the tension's on, isn't it? Okay maybe not. So… how did I do? I suck at writing the romance scenes (AKA The Kiss) and it probably wasn't very satisfactory so feel free to flame me (please go easy though.) Now, I know most of this was just another building-up chapter but bear with me okay? Now I have NO idea when the next chapter will be out because since my computer crashed, my chapter plan is gone and I have to redo it (I know, it's horrible) and I may have forgotten new plot points so there might be some plot twists at the end, but that makes it fun right? Please review!


	10. Author Note

A/N: Hey guys. So this isn't an actual chapter, I just have to let y'all know a few things before the next chapter comes out. 

I really don't think I explained why Ron watched Hermione hurt herself last chapter and I really should have, sorry. So, here's why: Ron is trying to find out _why _Hermione hurts herself and he's trying to find a way to substitute that feeling in a healthy way so he thought that if he watched that might help with that. He really just wants to help. That make sense? Sorry for the confusion.

I haven't even started the next chapter. I have barely had 2 seconds to myself in the last few weeks and it's gonna be that way for a bit longer, so I'm taking a break. I have a _lot _going on in my mind right now and I have to have time to sort it out and everything else that's going on with my family, friends, and personal life. So that means I'm going on break from this story for, at most, a month, possibly less. So I hope you all understand. Have a great Easter (if you're Christian- I am.) and Spring Break!

I'm not really expecting anyone to review this, but if you want to, I'll reply to it. Thanks for understanding, bye!


	11. Confessions and Explanations

A/N: I am SO incredibly freaking sorry it took this long

A/N: I am SO incredibly freaking sorry it took this long! I really needed to sort some things out in my life, and though I haven't sorted them all out yet, I realize I REALLY needed to get back to this, so I apologize to everyone and I hope everyone forgives me! And I'm sorry about the author's note last chapter, that always bugs me but I had to do it (if you haven't read it yet, please go back and read it, it is important.) Anyways- hope you enjoy it! I got a nice long one to try and make up for the long wait.

Disclaimer: No, not mine. Story belongs to JKR and Flame In All Of Us belongs to Thousand Foot Krutch. And I have never meant to glamorize self-harm, it's a terrible thing, please don't start.

WARNING: This chapter contains a bit of uncensored language, so I'm terribly sorry if I offend anyone, it's just that people get a bit mad and swear, sorry!

_This world has taken me by storm_

_It makes me feel like running_

_This place is making me transform _

_Until I feel like nothing. _

_It's the strength in you and me_

_That surrounds everything _

_The way you look out for me_

_The way you burn._

_  
It's the flame in all of us_

_The same that makes us feel this flame_

_In all of us_

_The same  
That makes us feel it  
_

_We are the youth of yesterday_

_We've brought you pain and sorrow_

_That's what they say_

_But they paved the way _

_We are the new tomorrow_

_It's the strength in you and me_

_That surrounds everything _

_The way you look out for me_

_The way you burn._

_  
It's the flame in all of us_

_The same that makes us feel this flame_

_In all of us_

_The same  
That makes us feel it_

_It's the flame _

_I__n all of us that _

_Makes__ the change in all of us, _

_That takes__ the blame in all of us_

_A__nd still keeps it alive._

Flame In All Of Us-- Thousand Foot Krutch

As we walked down the corridors to the Gryffindor Tower, I felt an odd sense of peace. Maybe Harry wouldn't take it well, maybe he'd tell the whole school and I'd be sent to a mental hospital for treatment… but I sincerely doubted it. Harry may not understand, but that's okay. Somehow, I just felt better knowing that he would know what I did to myself. It's hard to explain but it felt peaceful to know that my secret would be known by my two best friends.

Then the fear set in. I still wanted him to know about everything, but now I felt nervous. Would we still be friends? Would he think I was a freak? Would he tell Dumbledore? Would he brush it off? These were all the questions zooming through my mind while Ron said the password and we both clambered through the portrait hole.

"There he is." Ron said quietly to me, grabbing my arm and pointing. "You ready?" He asked me.

"I think so." I said, beginning to walk resolutely over to where Harry sat, in a corner, reading.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Harry asked, looking up from his book.

"Um… we need to talk to you about something important." I said, twisting my hands together.

"Okay… sit down why don't you?" He offered, looking at us oddly.

"Now, Harry. You might… freak out when we tell you. It's kinda unexpected but we think you need to know." Ron began, grabbing my hand beneath the table to comfort me.

"You two are finally dating, aren't you?" Harry asked tiredly.

"What?" Both Ron and I said at once.

"No, no! Definitely not! Where did you come up with that idea?" I asked, laughing nervously. "Anyways," I said before he had a chance to answer. "Listen, Harry. I know you've been going through a lot of stuff lately, what with… with Cedric and now Cho and so I just wanted to say that I'm not trying to be insensitive or selfish to you by… by telling you this, but I really just need to tell you now and…" I said, very fast, trailing off.

"What she's trying to say, Harry," Ron started. "Is that we know you've been through a lot and Hermione doesn't want to seem insensitive to your problems, but she's been struggling with something and she wants you to understand, that right Hermione?" Ron explained, glancing at me.

"Yeah, that's right." I said, looking at my lap.

"Okay… so what is it you need to tell me?" Harry asked, looking confusedly between Ron and I.

"Um… Harry, the thing is… I was really over-worked last year, you remember?" He nodded. "And I was sad a lot, because of… well you know why," I said, not wanting to say it was because Ron and I weren't speaking and he was going out with Lavender. "So I tried to… de-stress, and in doing so, I kind of caused a lot more problems to myself." I started, slowly. 

"How?" Harry asked uncertainly, looking nervous.

"I… erm… here." I said, offering both my arms towards him and jerking my sleeves up gently. Luckily, the Common Room was almost all empty and no one was paying attention to us, and we were in a dark corner.

"Oh my gosh. Hermione, you… you did this? To yourself?" Harry asked, sounding awestruck.

"Yes… I did that to myself." I whispered, a few tears slipping down my face.

"I… I never guessed. I was too wrapped up in myself, I should have known, I should have-" Harry began, but I cut him off.

"Don't you dare blame yourself Harry Potter! This is completely my fault and no one else's! _I _did this to myself, understand?" I asked fiercely.

"But… yeah okay I get it." Harry said, fingering my scars. "Does-doesn't it hurt?" He asked unsurely.

"No not really. I can't really feel it." I said, smiling reassuringly at him.

"Hermione, you… why? Why'd you ever start?" Harry asked me sadly, gazing at my arms.

"I was overworked, stressed, and sad from… everything." I said, glancing in Ron's direction. He looked confused.

"Oh, Hermione. I'm sorry." Harry said, standing up and gathering me into his arms. "I'm so sorry." He said, rubbing my back.

"It's okay, Harry, I'm okay." I reassured him.

"No, no you're not okay. Obviously not. I'm so sorry this happened to you, Hermione."

"Harry, it's okay. We'll pull through this… we're the Golden Trio, after all." I said, smiling up at him as he released me.

"Yeah, I guess we are." He said, sitting back down. "Ron, when did you find out?" Harry said, glancing at Ron.

"Not too long ago. Maybe two weeks ago or so. I walked in on her." Ron said, looking at the table we were sitting at and refusing to meet my eyes.

After Ron and I filled Harry in on everything that happened with Terry and now Ginny, Harry instantly wanted to go confront Terry and Ginny to see what was going on. Ron agreed, but I had a nagging feeling that Ron would lose his cool with Terry, so I suggested just Harry and I go to talk to Terry, then we would find Ron and we would all go hear Ginny's side of the story.

"Why do I have to stay?" Ron asked angrily. "I think you should stay Hermione, so you don't get too… riled up." He finished lamely.

"Because, Ronald, you know you'll get upset. Terry has that effect on you so I think it'd be best if just Harry and I went, don't you agree, Harry?" I asked, looking at Harry expectantly.

"Well, yeah Ron, Hermione's right. I mean, I can get why you get angry at Terry but we gotta stay composed for this. It should be just Hermione and I." Harry agreed, hesitantly.

"But I really think that I should-" Ron started, but I interrupted.

"No, Ron. This is my job, my business. I obviously need backup and the best person for that job is Harry. I'm sorry but you just can't come." I said firmly.

"Fine. If that's the way you feel, I just won't come." Ron said, going over to the fireplace and plopping down in a vacated armchair.

"Can you give us a minute?" I asked Harry quietly.

"Sure. I'll wait outside the Fat Lady." Harry said, turning around and climbing out of the portrait hole.

"Listen, Ron," I said, sitting down in another armchair next to him. "If you lose you're cool, I don't know if I'll be able to handle the situation and _that's _why you can't come. You've been my support since the beginning so if you lose it, I most certainly will. Please understand that." I said softly, reaching out and lightly touching his arm.

"…Okay. Okay, I understand. I get why I can't come… I just wanted to be there for you, Hermione." He said slowly.

"And you have been! But now the best thing you can do for me, is let just Harry and I do this. Harry can help and you'll help when we talk to Ginny. It's just this once… please, Ron." I whispered.

"Okay, I get it. You can go now, don't wanna keep Harry waiting." Ron said, not unkindly.

"Okay. We'll meet you back here in an hour or so." I said, before hurrying out.

"Where do you think he'd be? Ravenclaw Common Room maybe?" Harry asked me, as we walked out of the library, unsuccessful in our mission to find Terry.

"Yeah maybe. Do you know the password?" I asked him.

"Yeah, but why don't we check the Great Hall before we go there, to see if he's there?" Harry offered, glancing around to see if he saw Terry.

"Okay, let's go." I said, grabbing his arm and hurrying down the corridor towards the Hall.

"There he is," I whispered to Harry, pointing him out at the Ravenclaw table. He was deeply immersed in the book he was reading so he didn't notice as we approached him.

"Hello, Terry." Harry said coldly, crossing his arms across his chest. "I think Hermione and I need to talk to you."

"A-about what?" Terry stuttered.

"I think you know _about what." _Harry replied nastily, grabbing his arm and jerking him out of his seat. He began marching him out of the Hall, so I grabbed Terry's discarded book and bag and followed them out, trying to avoid the eyes that were following us.

Once we got into a deserted classroom, Terry jerked his arm away from Harry. "_That _was unacceptable! You shouldn't just drag someone out of their seat and throw them around like that!" Terry spit out, nastily.

"Throw them around? Throw them around?! You know, I think _you're _the one throwing _certain people _around!" Harry said harshly, glancing at me.

"What do you-?" Terry started, but Harry cut him off.

"What do I mean? _What do I mean? _I mean you just toying with Hermione's emotions like that! First, you pretend to care, then you started _coming on _to her! What kind of bloody bastard are you? She needed help and what did you do? All you ever wanted to do was get in her pants, isn't that right?!" Harry yelled at Terry, who was speechless. "ISN'T THAT RIGHT?!" Harry yelled.

"YES! Okay, yes! I never actually cared about her welfare!" Terry yelled back at Harry. "I'll tell you everything, IF you promise to leave me alone and not to hurt me, deal?" Terry said, lowering his voice and staring at the ground.

"No I don't think-" Harry started, but I spoke up.

"Yes, okay. What do you have to say?" I asked, not looking Terry in the eye.

"See… I was- I was noticing that every other person in our year has been… has been dating and-and having… intercourse," Harry snickered at Terry's incapability to say 'sex'. "So I decided I needed to have… intercourse to be liked among my classmates. So I singled out someone I thought would be easy… you, 'Mione-"

"Don't call her that," Harry growled warningly.

"Okay, okay. So I thought maybe she'd be easy," Terry continued, looking at Harry, not me. "And when I found her in the bathroom that day, all weak and stuff, I just- I thought it'd make it all the more easy to get her if she was in need of a… a hero. So I pretended to be that hero, but she wouldn't go along." He was now staring directly at me. "No, you just couldn't let me comfort you in the Hospital Wing, you had to tell me to _fuck off!" _Terry was getting angry again.

"Hey! I did NOT say that and you know perfectly well that _I do not like swearing!" _I said, trying not to get too angry at his remarks.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, sorry," Terry mumbled. "So then we stopped talking… and I hated her because I had told some of the guys in Ravenclaw about my… plan and-and now I had to tell them that it was off, so they started making fun of me again. So I-I set out to… to ruin her." Terry was looking at the ground again.

"Ruin me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows skeptically.

"I wanted to hurt you like you'd hurt me, so I decided to find someone close to you and tell them about your issue," Terry made a disgusted face. "I knew Ron wouldn't believe me, he never liked me, and for good reason, considering he's in love with you and-"

"_What?" _I screeched as Harry sniggered.

"Nevermind," Terry brushed me off. "And I doubted you would believe me," He continued, gesturing towards Harry. "So I went for her next best friend."

"Ginny…" I said, more to myself than Terry or Harry.

"Yes, Ginny. I targeted her and told her. At first, she told me to screw off and she didn't believe me. Than I pointed out the evidence out to her- the long sleeves, trips to the bathrooms, etcetera- and she started to believe me. She told me to stay away from you," He waved his hand at me, but didn't look at me. "So she began paying closer attention to you and realized that there were signs that you do it. So then she started pitying you," I made a disgusted face. "And then… then we started fighting. I told her to just leave you alone, not talk to you, you didn't deserve it, and then, _then, _she started _defending _you, like I'd said something wrong!" Terry sounded truly shocked that she'd gotten mad at him for that.

"Obviously she got mad! She's a good friend, unlike you!" I said.

"So… that's it then. Can I leave now?" Terry asked, looking towards the closed door, uncomfortably.

"Yes, get outta here. And don't you dare talk to Ginny or Hermione ever again! You sick bastard…" Harry warned Terry, slamming it after Terry walked out.

"That was… wow. I didn't know he had so much… hostility towards me. I didn't mean to hurt him, it's just that-" "Don't, Hermione!" Harry interrupted me angrily. "He deserved it! Didn't you hear him? All he wanted was to get you in the sack! The bastard! I swear, I'll-" Harry went into a long rant about what he'd do to Terry.

"Harry? Harry! Composure… we need to have composure. Now… let's go find Ron so we can talk to Ginny."

"Okay." Harry said, starting towards the door.

"Oh and Harry?" I called out after him before he opened the door. "Thanks for sticking by me like that… it means a lot to me." I said, smiling at him.

"No problem. You're like my sister, Hermione." Harry said, smiling back.

"And you're like my brother. Let's so go find Ron now." I said, walking towards him. He wrapped a comforting arm around my waist, and I wrapped my arm around his waist too, in a platonic, sibling way.

I was so glad Ron convinced me to tell Harry everything.

"-And that's what happened." Harry finished telling Ron what happened.

"Are you serious? That bloody-" Ron began, but I cut him off quickly.

"Please, Ron. Just forget it and let's go talk to Ginny. Terry won't come near Ginny or I again, just forget he exists. Please… it'd make it a lot easier on me." I begged Ron, tiredly.

"Are you sure? I mean he was such a-"

"Yes Ron, I'm sure. Leave him alone." I said, standing up off the couch where I had been sitting next to Ron. "Ginny's probably in the girls' dorms, I'll go see if I can find her." I said, walking towards the staircase leading to her room.

Once I got up to her room, I only found Amanda, Ginny's roommate, who reminded me a lot of Lavender.

"Hi, Amanda." I said, smiling. "Do you know where Ginny is?" Amanda and Ginny weren't really friends, but they did talk sometimes.

"No, sorry, Hermione. Here, what do you think of this lipstick color?" Amanda asked me, gesturing towards her mouth.

"Oh, it's, erm… very nice. It looks lovely. Bye now!" I said, rushing out of the dorm. I didn't like Amanda, not at all. I had liked her a little bit until last year, when Lavender started going out with Ron. I know it's wrong, but she always reminded me of a younger Lavender so when Lavender started dating Ron and I began to have a grudge against her, I automatically didn't like Amanda anymore.

I knew all of Ginny's roommates because I was often in her room talking with her, so I decided to see if I could find any of them to see if they knew where Ginny was.

"Not there." I said bluntly, when I reached Harry and Ron.

"Damn. Classes are over for the day, so where does she usually-?" Harry began, but I suddenly got an idea.

"Dean!" I said.

"Erm… what about Dean?" Ron asked sheepishly.

"Dean! Ginny's still with him, at least as far as I know so maybe if we find Dean, he'll know where she is!" I said, jumping up off the couch.

"Oh, yeah! He's up in our dorm right now, I'll go ask him." Harry said, jumping up and running up the stairs.

"I'll come!" I said, eagerly, running after Harry, leaving Ron behind.

"Whoa!" I heard Harry say before I could reach the top of the stairs.

"What's wrong Har- Whoa!" I stopped mid-sentence. Dean most certainly knew where Ginny was… underneath him, on a bed, half-naked, making out.

"Erm… we, uh…" I began but couldn't seem to say what we came up here for. And Harry giggling like an idiot didn't help either.

"What?" Dean asked rudely.

_Well someone's disappointed that he's not getting' any, _I thought amusedly to myself.

"We, erm, just really need to talk to Ginny… if that's okay?" I asked, glancing at Ginny.

"No. You can talk to her later." Dean said rudely, still not climbing off of Ginny.

"No, Dean, I think I want to hear what they have to say." Ginny said, trying to get out from under Dean.

"But-" Dean began to protest.

"Move, now." Ginny insisted.

"Fine. Go." Dean said grudgingly.

Once Ginny got out from under Dean (and pulled her shirt back on), we all walked downstairs.

"Oh- you found her… wait! Ginny, what the bloody hell were you doing up there with Dean?" Ron asked Ginny angrily.

"Calm down Ronald. Neville was up there with us, we were just talking." Ginny lied easily.

"Now, what did you all want?" Ginny asked, sitting down in an armchair.

"Well see Ginny, we got Terry's side of the story, now we think it's time to hear yours." I said, sitting down also.

_This is not going to be fun, _I thought silently.

A/N: Okay, how was it? Again, I'm very sorry it took so long to update, it will be faster next chapter! All my reviewers get ice-cream and brownies. I realized a while back that Ginny didn't date Dean until the sixth book and this is the 5th year (if you're confused about the Lavender/Ron thing now, go back and reread the A/N on chapter 1) but I can't change it now, can I? Sorry about that, guys! Y'all should know by now that I want reviews…


	12. Out Of The Closet

A/N: Hi everyone

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks to LittleMoutainofLight and akaccino, the only two who reviewed, this chapter is dedicated to you because all my other reviewers are GONE! Thank you guys!

Disclaimer: The plot it mine, but not the characters, they are JKR's. The song isn't mine either, it is Fireflight's. And remember, I never mean to glamorize self-injury, because it isn't glamorous… at all.

_Look at all the lonely hearts_

_Shivering out in the dark_

_Hiding from the truth,_

_Cover up the proof_

_Demons that I've tried to hide_

_Imprison me in my own lies_

_And all that I can do is cover up the proof_

_Don't be afraid to…_

_Stand up!  
Stand up when you're broken_

_Stand up!_

_Stand up if you feel ashamed_

_You are not alone when you hurt this way_

_Stand up!  
Stand up if you need love_

_Stand up!_

_This is not judgment day_

_You don't have to hide_

_There's no need to run_

_Everything will be okay_

_Secrets got me torn apart_

_Trying to destroy my heart_

_But I can see the light_

_It's cutting through the night_

_Don't run away_

_(Don't run away)_

_Don't be afraid to stand up!_

_This is not judgment day_

_You don't have to hide_

_There's no need to run_

_Everything will be okay_

_You say you love me_

_That's all I'll ever nee_

_If you say I'm good enough,_

_That's good enough for me_

Stand up-- Fireflight

Recap: "Now, what did you all want?" Ginny asked, sitting down in an armchair.

"Well see Ginny, we got Terry's side of the story, now we think it's time to hear yours." I said, sitting down also.

"My-my side of the story? What story is this?" Ginny lied, looking shocked.

"You know what we're talking about. Terry told us what he told you and what you did but we want to hear it from you." I said unflinchingly. I somehow knew that this wasn't going to be pretty.

"I… fine. He came to me one day and asked me if I was Ginny Weasley." Ginny began, looking at her knees. "So I told him I was and then asked what he wanted, but he didn't answer. Instead he asked me if I was your friend," She looked pointedly at me before returning to staring at her knees. "So I said yes, we were friends… and he said 'well then, I know something I think you will want to hear.' So he told me- he told me that you guys were friends-" Ron scoffed slightly when she said this. "-and that he knew something about you that no one else did. I told him I didn't want to hear it, if you wanted me to know, you would have told me. Then he told me, it could be a matter of life-and-death. I didn't believe him, but then he told me he was serious, and asked me if I was willing to risk your life. Of course, I said no… so I let him tell me. He said "'I know this may be hard for you to hear but, you're friend Hermione, she cuts herself. She's ended up in the hospital twice because of it. I walked in on her doing it. I thought you should know.' And I slapped him. I didn't believe him of course, so I left.

"Then, the next day, at breakfast… he came to me and he told me the 'signs'. He pointed out how depressed you were, how much you used the restroom- he told me this was when you cut- and how you always wore long-sleeves and seemed so defensive. You have to understand, Hermione," She said, looking pleadingly into my eyes now. "He had all the facts, all the evidence! I really thought maybe he was telling the truth!"

"So that's why you were acting so odd?" Ron asked, staring at Ginny intently.

"Yes, that was why. I know I shouldn't have and I know I acted like a bitch but-"

"Ginny!" I exclaimed, scolding her for her language.

"What? Oh, right, sorry. But anyway, you have to understand that I was worried! I didn't know what was true anymore and I didn't know how to act around you so I just tried to get rid of the problem by ignoring it but it didn't work!

"Before I knew it, Terry and I seemed to be friends, even though I didn't like him-" Ron smiled a bit when she said this. "-but we started hanging out, and as the days went by, I believed him more and more. He made it seem so real. But then he told me that he had talked to you. And by that time, I had noticed that he was bugging you, so I thought he made you 'worse' or whatever so I yelled at him… that's when you came in. I assume you two know everything?" She asked Harry and Ron, rather out of breath from her explanation.

"Yeah. We both know." Harry said, nodding.

"Oh okay. Well Hermione, I'm so sorry I believed him. I think now that it was just a whole plan to get back at you after you stopped being his friend- good idea with that too, I can understand why you didn't want to hang out with him- and now I know that I shouldn't believe him. I never should have, I'm sorry." She apologized sincerely. She obviously thought what Terry had said was totally untrue now. I figured I should put things straight.

"Thank you, Ginny… but Terry was right. I do… hurt myself. I'm sure he blew it way out of proportion but I do self-harm. I'm sorry you had to find out that way. Really, it must have been hard." I said, looking Ginny directly in the eye.

"You what? No… no, Hermione, he was lying. He had to be. Why would you ever do that to yourself? You're so great! Why would you want to?" Ginny asked, raising her voice and jumping out of her chair.

"Because, Ginny, some things I've dealt with have been hard and I didn't know how to cope so I started hurting myself! I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is! You can't change that and you can't deny it! I'm sorry… but that's the way it is." I said, also standing up. Harry and Ron both watched, ready to come to my defense if needed.

"You shouldn't do it! You don't deserve that, you deserve so much more! Hermione, don't do this to yourself, you know it's wrong!" Ginny yelled angrily, getting louder.

"Whoa! Gin, calm down. Getting mad won't do anything, just sit down and listen to what Hermione has to say!" Ron said, jumping up and grabbing his sister's arm, gently pushing her back into her chair. "Hermione, you feel like explaining everything again?" Ron asked, sitting back down next to me.

"Fine. Okay, Gin, here goes…"

After explaining everything for the second time that day, Ginny didn't seem as angry. In fact, she seemed to understand.

"I guess- I guess that makes sense." She said, after I finished telling her everything. "But I can't believe Terry! How could he go and do something like that when it's obvious you needed comfort! I swear, if I had known I would have kicked his arse to the Bahamas and back!" Ginny said, firing up once again.

Ron, Harry and I each grinned at each other before Harry stepped in and told Ginny that he had had the honors of doing that earlier.

"Did you really now?" Ginny asked, looking thrilled.

"Yes he did, I was there." I said, smiling a bit. It felt wonderful to know that my three best friends knew my secret.

Just then, a 2nd year came up to us. "Are you Hermione Granger?" He asked shyly.

"Yes I am." I said, looking curiously at the letter he had clutched in his hand.

"This is for you, from Professor Dumbledore." He said, before scurrying off.

"I wonder what he could want." I said absentmindedly, opening the letter and reading it aloud.

_Miss Granger, _

_I would greatly appreciate it if you, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter, and Miss Weasley would do me the favor of visiting my office as soon as you get this letter. There are a few things I'd like to discuss with all of you alone. I cannot tell you in this letter, but it is a very serious matter that needs to be discussed immediately. _

_Hope to see you soon,_

_Prof. Dumbledore_

_P.S. Have you tried Cockroach Clusters? They are delightful. _

"Cockroach Clusters? He really has gone batty." Ron said.

"No, Ron. That must be the password to get in or something." Harry said, rolling his eyes at Ron.

"Well. Let's go then." Ginny said, standing up, along with the rest of us.

Once we got seated in his office, Dumbledore surveyed us over the rim of his spectacles.

"Do any of you have an idea on why you may have gotten called here?" Dumbledore asked us, not unkindly.

"No sir." We all said at once.

"Ah, well. It has to do with a rather serious subject, I'm afraid to say. Miss Granger," He said, turning to me. "You have been struggling with some things lately, yes?" He asked me.

_What? Did he find out? From who? …Terry! I swear to Merlin, hasn't he gotten enough pleasure from the pain he's put me through__ already? _I shrieked in my head.

"Erm… yes sir." I said, staring resolutely at me knees.

"Yes, a student, who shall remain anonymous, came to be, not even an hour ago, and told me that you have been struggling with a problem. He, the student, also said that Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter, and Miss Weasley knew of this. Is that true?" He asked, looking at Harry, Ron and Ginny.

"Erm…" Ron said, looking at me for the go-ahead that it was okay to admit it. I nodded, letting him know it was okay. "Yeah… we know." He said.

"Miss Granger," He said, turning back to me. "I have informed all of your teachers of this so that you may get out of class if you are not feeling well enough to go. We trust you enough to know you will not take advantage of this." He said, eyeing me strictly. "Am I right to place my trust in you?"

"Y-yes sir. I won't disappoint you." I said quietly, still in shock that, not only Dumbledore knew, but all my teachers knew.

"I'm glad to hear it. You three will help her, yes?" He asked, looking at the others.

"Definitely, sir." Ginny spoke up.

"Good. And also, Miss Granger, Madam Pomfrey will be happy to help you if ever need be. I find she is a wonderful listener and she can do a world of good. Take care of yourself now." He said, signaling us that it was time to go.

"I can't believe he told!" I said angrily, once we were down the steps out of his office. "He had no right to do that!"

"Are you talking about Terry or Dumbledore?" Harry asked, looking sheepish.

"Both! Neither of them should have told! Not that that would stop Terry but Dumbledore shouldn't have told either!" I said, outraged.

"How do you even know it was Terry? It could have been anyone." Ron said stupidly. Ginny, Harry and I all gave him skeptical looks.

"And who else knows about it, Ronald? _No one." _I said, stating the obvious.

"Oh yeah… right." Ron said, blushing slightly.

"Well look who it is. Dumbledore tell you the great news?" Came an annoying voice.

"What, Terry? Just can't leave her alone? Are you like a psycho stalker or something?" Harry demands of Terry, stepping closer to him.

"What? Don't like your girlfriend to know any other guys? Are you that insecure?" Terry taunted Harry.

"Why don't you back off?" Ron asked, glaring menacingly at Terry.

"Maybe because I don't really feel like it." Terry said unflinchingly.

"Well you're going to regret that!" Ginny said, drawing her wand and pointing it right at Terry.

"Oh will I now?" Terry asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Yeah, you will." Ron said, advancing on him. "So you thought you could get away with telling, did ya? Think again, you bastard!" Ron said, swinging his fist directly into Terry's face.

"RON!" I screamed, trying to stop him, but it was too late.

"Don't, Hermione! He had it coming!" Ron said, staring at Terry, who was laying on the ground, trying to stop the blood that was pouring out of his nose.

"Don't mess with her, ever again, understand?" Ron said, grabbing my elbow and walking away, Harry and Ginny following closely behind.

"Ron, was that necessary?" I asked as we hurried down the hall, him still gripping me arm.

"Yes, it was. Don't even try to tell me he didn't deserve it, you know he did." Ron said, not looking at me.

"Yes but still, violence isn't the answer." I reprimanded.

"And what would you have me do? Tell him his behavior was inappropriate and annoying? Somehow, I don't think that would have worked."

"Yeah… but still." I said, not able to find the words to explain my opinion to him.

"Hey Hermione?" Ginny asked, falling in step next to me and Ron.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Can I have a word? Alone?" She said, looking at Harry and Ron.

"Yeah sure, see you guys later." I said, and following Ginny into a deserted classroom. 

"Listen Hermione, I just wanted to apologize again for the way I acted. I know I was a jerk and you didn't deserve it. And I'm sorry I got mad when you told me, I really do understand where you're coming from."

"Thank you, Ginny. That means a lot to me." I said, smiling at her.

"But… I have to ask… I know you started last year around the time that Ron started going out with Lavender, did that have anything to do with your decision? I get it if you don't want to tell me, but-"

"No, it's fine." I interrupted her rambling. "It-it just pushed me off the edge, you know? I had been under a lot of stress and that was just the last thing I could handle. Come on, Ginny, you know how I feel about him. It's not like it wasn't going to affect me. You understand right?" I asked her.

"Yes, of course I understand. I'll listen when you need to talk, okay? About anything." She said, putting her hand on my arm.

"Thank you. And please don't tell Ron about how much it affected me… I don't want him to feel guilty."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Now come on, let's go get something to eat, all this new knowledge has made me starving!" Ginny said, giggling.

And so we both headed down towards the Great Hall, talking lightly about anything and everything. I was just glad that my best girlfriend now knew everything I'd been through. It's great being friends with Harry and Ron, but there are just some things you need a girl to talk with.

A/N: I know it's a bit short, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't much else with it. I hope to have the next one out soon. I'm sure you can tell by now that things are starting to end but there'll be several more chapters still to come. And I'm terrible at writing Dumbledore, so please forgive that part. Please, please review! It inspires me!


	13. He Told Who?

Bleed Away The Pain

Bleed Away The Pain

Chapter 12: He Told Who?

A/N: So, I've gotten a message saying Dumbledore would have told someone- done something- and I thought I should explain that situation everyone. I do not agree that Dumbledore should tell someone or make her stop, that wouldn't be right. It's been proven time and time again that forcing someone to stop cutting themselves does more damage then good. I don't have the time to explain what would happen if he did make her stop, but mark my words, it would be bad (if you wanna know the type of things that happen when someone tells and makes people stop, message me and I'll fill you in.) Dumbledore will enlist some psychologists to help her in later chapters but right now he thinks it's best if he just sits back and lets things run their course. Hope I've cleared that up for everyone. Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine. And I never meant to glamorize self-harm.

_I never knew  
I never knew that everything was falling through  
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue  
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth  
But that's how it's got to be  
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy  
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see  
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears_

Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard  
Find another friend and you discard  
As you lose the argument in a cable car  
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And suddenly I become a part of your past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last  
I'm losing you and its effortless  
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground  
In the throw around  
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down  
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind

Over my head--The Fray

"So, that's pronounced _aqua-mety?" _Harry asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"No. It's _agua-menty_. Do you remember what it does?" I told Harry for fourth time.

"Erm… it shoots a spurt of water out of your wand?" Harry asked, unsure.

"Yes, good job." I said, absentmindedly flipping through my Charms book.

Harry and I were in the library, studying upcoming Charms essay.

"Hermione?" Harry asked me, looking somewhere over my left shoulder.

"Yeah?" I said, not looking up from the Charms book.

"Look behind you." Harry whispered, looking back down at his notes. I glanced over my shoulder, and there were three 6th year Ravenclaw whispering and pointing at Harry and I. 

"They're probably just swooning over you." I said, turning back to look at Harry, rolling my eyes.

"Then why are they pointing at you?" Harry asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"They're- they're not, are they?" I whispered, leaning slightly closer to him over the table.

"Yeah, they are." Harry said, nodding slightly.

"Maybe… maybe they don't know we're friends and are wondering why I'm sitting with you." I said, desperately racking my mind for an excuse as to why they would be talking about _me. _

"Hermione. Everyone knows we're friends." Harry said, matter-of-factly.

"Well… erm… I don't _know_, Harry! Come on, let's go up to the Common Room and study there. We'll be less disturbed." I said, standing up, gathering the books and papers into my arms, slinging my bag over my shoulder, and heading out. Harry cast one mean look over to the girls before following me.

"Listen, Hermione, I gotta head to Quidditch practice now, but we can continue after dinner, 'kay?" Harry asked, after we had been in the Common Room for about half-an-hour.

"Okay, I have to go talk to Ginny anyways." I said, starting to pack all of our things up.

"Right, see ya later." Harry said, walking off.

I quickly trotted upstairs and into the 4th year girl's room, to find Ginny alone, pacing in front of her bed with a worried look on her face.

"What's up, Gin?" I asked worriedly, sitting down on her roommate, Amanda's, bed.

"Hermione… you don't think Terry would tell anyone other than Dumbledore do you?" Ginny asked, stopping at in front of me and staring at me.

"I- why?" I asked, my heart beginning to pound. _Please tell me he didn't_, I prayed silently.

"Because… because some Ravenclaw girls came up to me and said… they said '_do you know your friend, Hermione, is a freak?'_" Ginny imitated them, putting on a high-pitched, nasally voice.

"W-what?" I asked, my pulse quickening.

"So then, I almost hexed them right there, but I figured, I might as well find out what they were talking about. So I said '_what the bloody hell are you talking about?' _and they giggled- _giggled, _'Mione!-" Ginny said, as if it were a crime to giggle. "And then- _then _they said '_Terry told us that she _hurt _herself! What kinda freak would do that?' _So of course, then I hexed their asses off-"

"Ginny!" I scolded, only out of habit. Like I could really care about swearing when I just found out that an entire house- possibly the entire school- could know!

"Sorry, and then, once they were lying on the floor, all weak and whatnot-"

"You didn't seriously injure them, did you?" I asked worriedly. You never knew what Ginny would do.

"Nah, just a couple of Bat-Bogey hexes, no big deal." Ginny said, waving off my question. "After that I just left… but 'Mione, this means that Terry's told… possibly everyone." She said, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, and Harry and I saw some Ravenclaw girls pointing and whispering about me in the Library." I said weakly, staring at Ginny.

"This means… do you think everyone knows? Or just the Ravenclaws?" She asked me.

"I don't know… but if a whole house finds out, it's only a matter of seconds before the rest of the castle knows. This is not good." I said, running a hand through my messy curls.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." Ginny said, wrapping her arms around me.

"What'll I do? I can't stand it if everyone knows… I'll be suspended or something." I said frantically, my mind blanking out.

"Of course you won't! You're the best student in this place and the teachers already know! The students can't expel you, 'Mione." Ginny said, still holding.

"Okay… thanks for telling me, Gin." I said.

"No problem. It's what any real friend would do." She said, letting go of me.

"Now, Harry's at practice but we can find Ron and tell him. Just make sure Terry's not around, he'll beat him to a bloody pulp." I said, trying not to freak out too much. Not that I was having too much luck.

"Yeah okay. I think… I think he's in the Great Hall, eating of course." She said, grinning at me, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, come on then." I said, standing up shakily.

"Hey, Hermione?" Ginny called, as I began walking towards the door.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around.

"I'm… sorry. This shouldn't have happened to you." She said simply, walking over to me and looping her arm through mine.

"Thank you, Gin." I said, smiling at her.

Sure enough, Ron was in the Hall. And sure enough, when Ginny and I filled him off, he was _very _upset.

"How dare he?! I swear I'll-" Ron exclaimed under his breath, so no one would hear us, proclaiming all the horrible things he'd do to Terry when he got his hands on him.

"Now- now calm down Ron. It may just be the Ravenclaw house that knows, he may be satisfied with his revenge. Maybe he won't tell the rest of the houses…" I said, not even believing the words myself. Everyone knew that news traveled as fast as lightening in Hogwarts.

"Oh, come _on, _Hermione. If one house knows, everyone will know soon." Ron said, rolling his eyes at me.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Harry said, as he walked up.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked rudely.

"Practice ended early, 'cause it's raining and Angelina said it wouldn't do any good to practice when we couldn't see anything." Harry said, sitting down next to Ron.

"Erm… Harry?" Ginny asked, glancing at me first.

"Yeah, Gin?"

"Well… erm… we have something to tell you." She said, gesturing for me to continue with her hand.

"See, the thing is… everyone knows. That I, you know, cut. Terry told." I whispered, looking at my knees.

"What? When? Why would he do that? I mean, I knew he was a jerk, but I didn't think… I never though he would…" Harry trailed off, looking stunned.

"I know, Harry, I thought so too. But I guess… I guess we were wrong." I said, leaning closer to him from across the table, taking his hand in mine.

Just then, Cho walked in. She looked around for Harry, but when she saw me sitting with him, she just smirked and walked over and sat down with none other than Terry.

Harry looked up and saw her, and looked sad for a second, before turning back to me. "Listen, Hermione. Obviously, people are going to act a lot differently around you now, and us, but we… we don't care about that, right Ginny? Ron?" Harry said, trying desperately to find words to calm all of us down.

"Definitely." Ginny said, taking my other hand.

"Of course." Ron added, trying to smile.

"Okay so… do we want to tell Dumbledore?" Ginny asked.

"What for? It's not like he could expel him for starting gossip- true gossip- but still… everyone does it. This is just a bit… worse." I stated.

"Okay then… do we want to confront Terry?" Ginny asked, very calmly.

"Yes." Ron and Harry said at the same time.

"No." I said, looking at Ginny, hoping she'd be on my side.

"I think… I think we should ignore him. Obviously, what he wants is attention –be it good or bad- so we don't give it to him. Act like it doesn't bother us. That'll get the greatest confusion for him." She said, squeezing my hand slightly.

"I… I guess that'll work." Ron said reluctantly, casting death-glares in Terry's direction.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Harry agreed.

"Oh and Harry?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah?"

"I think… I think you and Cho are… over." She said, gesturing over to the Ravenclaw table where Terry and Cho were acting… very friendly.

"Oh… well that's okay. To be honest, she was _really _getting on my nerves." Harry said, not seeming to be bothered by this at all.

"Thank _goodness." _Ron sighed. "She was _so _annoying. I just wanted to strangle her."

"Yeah… me too." I said, smiling slightly at Harry.

"Really? I thought you guys liked her." Harry said.

"Not at all." I said, letting go of his hand so that I could pile some food on my plate and start eating.

"You know… this really isn't _so _bad. It's not like I really talked to many other people… so as long as I have you guys, I'm good." I said, smiling slightly.

"Agreed." Ron said, capturing my hand under the table and giving it a squeeze, before letting it go.

A/N: Okay, I know this is short, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't draw it out any longer. I honestly have no idea when the next one will be out. Sorry this one took so _damn _long, but I had my first case of writer's block and I just could _not _think of what to write for the longest time! Anyways, do any of you want me to continue with this? To me, it's getting a bit… boring. Of course, more interesting stuff _will _happen, but would any of you read it? Just wanting some feedback here. Thanks!


End file.
